Love and Life - One shots
by MissWritingStoriesObsessed
Summary: A series of one shots about Alex and Olivia, from day to day life to AU! I really hope you enjoy them! Some one shots include smut, so rating is 'M' just to be safe! Please read and review! Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

**Shouldn't have happened.**

Hello!

So, I have decided to do a multi chapter of one shots.  
So instead of upload lord knows how many one shots, I just thought I should put them all together, I started writing around the middle of December and have only just got round to putting them up! I really hope you enjoy! Some of them are co-written by HKS, but there will be an A/N to let you know which ones they are!  
Like with all my writing any reviews are welcome and if you don't want to review, you can always PM me! Enjoy!

So, best place to start – Number 1! 

When Olivia is killed in the line of duty the team sit in silence and listen to Alex scream and cry for her wife and there is nothing they can do about it.

This includes Monique, Elliot and Amanda, mainly because I like them... 

Please Enjoy and any type of review is welcome!

**Disclaimer: I own nothing... well I own a lot, but SVU, no... I don't own that.**

**_**

Elliot sat at his desk with his head in his hands.  
Fin sat at his desk staring at the Captains office door.

John was stood next to the coffee machine with Monique stood next to him both trying to put up a brave front.

Amanda sat at her desk folding random pieces of paper.

Melinda was stood near the door; Casey stood next to her both waiting for what they all knew was coming next.

Elliot couldn't stop replaying it in his head, he tried his hardest to stop the blood, to keep her talking to try and make some sense of the situation as it all happened so fast, he knew one day it would happen to them all, he just never thought it would be this soon, he never thought it would be his best friend, he never thought it would have this much of an effect on the strongest person he knew.

He was looming over her, hands pressed onto her side, hoping and praying as hard as he could that she'd begin laughing or she'd tell him that she was fine, or that the ambulance would get to them in time, but sometimes your prayers are not heard.

"Tell Alex I love her."  
"You can tell her that yourself when we get you to the hospital." He said it, but he knew it wasn't going to happen.

"Thank you for being there." As if with her last few breaths she thanked the two most important people in her life.

Elliot kept replaying it, as if it would make it better but somehow it only made it worse.

Fin was sat watching the door then casting a glance to Amanda who looked like she was about to burst into tears. He knew she felt awful, he would have killed the perp if she wasn't there to stop him, but as soon as they got the new he wished so hard he'd of hit him a bit harder.

It was all a blur to him, the only thing he could remember clearly was walking back up the sidewalk with the perp in cuffs and stopping dead in his tracks, he knew that one day it was going to happen, he knew that one day, it would take a second longer to react, but he never thought it would be today and he never thought it would be her.

John had called Monique as soon as it happened. He was close to tears himself, he was stood with other local LEO's when it all happened and tried his best to calm the crows that had gathered when Elliot and Olivia had drawn there weapons.

Seeing the strongest detective he knew so vulnerable broke his heart but he knew deep down there was nothing more he could do and that's what hurt him the most. He blamed the perp he blamed the courts for not getting a warrant sooner, he ever blamed himself. John knew it would happen, it had happened to him and would probably happen to every other cop in the city, but it was strange how he never thought or believed it would happen to her.

Amanda wished she'd kept her mouth shut, wished she's let Fin beat that gut to a pulp, yes it would have been wrong but she didn't care, and she didn't think anyone else did either.

Walking back to the squad car with the perp, so many people around but none of them seemed to help, the just watched in amazement, shock, horror... says a lot for the people of New York. Amanda knew she couldn't blame anyone although she blamed herself, it was strange... every cop was gonna get hurt at some point, every cop was gonna fall somewhere along the line but from the first day she met her, she never thought it would ever happen to her.

Melinda and Casey had both been at the court house when Melinda got the call and neither of them had moved so quick in their lives. All they were told was a member of SVU had been injured and they were needed at the 1-6.

Finding out the news had shocked them both, but never did they think it would be her, she was the strongest detective there was... it shouldn't have happened to her.

Everyone knew that at some point a cop would get shot or stabbed or injured in the line of duty, Olivia Benson included, but never did anyone think it would take her life.

As if on cue everyone was shaken back from there thought as Don walked out of his office and it all began.

Officers from the SVU, A medical examiner and an A.D.A attached to the unit all stood in silence and listen to the heart breaking sounds on Alexandra Benson screaming and crying for her wife.

It shouldn't have happened, but it did.

None of them moved, none of them spoke, some of them cried and some of them didn't but they all remind silent listening to Alex's screams.

Olivia wasn't supposed to die, she was stronger than that.

It really shouldn't have happened; they were supposed to catch the guy before he got his hands on a gun.

It really shouldn't have happened, but it did.

_

So, thank you for reading! I hope you liked it, please review!  
Let me know what you all think!  
I will try and do some more one shots in the upcoming weeks, I also take requests!

Bethanyy!


	2. Chapter 2

**Lock Down**

The second one is now here!

Thank you for the reviews and follows and favorites and all of that.  
I am sorry that the first one was sad, but in my head, that's just how it went, so forgive me!

Olivia and Alex get stuck in the elevator when the power goes out and now they're forced to talk about their one night stand.

A/N: Co Written by HKS!

Please read and review if you can, and have a lovely day!

**Disclaimer: I own a lot, but SVU, No, no... No I don't own that.**

* * *

A one night stand was not something either Alex or Olivia did, but on this one night both of them were stressed and were looking for a release which they ended up finding in each other.

Although neither of them seem to regret it, but they hadn't spoken since... now it's been 2 weeks.

Walking out of the SVU Olivia managed to catch the elevator before the doors closed, sighing she turned and noticed the blonde stood next to her. She wished they could talk this through but where to start?

"I didn't realise you were here." Olivia said in an attempt to start a conversation on that was cut short by a sudden jolt of the metal box they were in.

"Fantastic..." Alex muttered... now they were stuck in a metal box with not a clue as to what to say to each other.

"I'm sure they'll have us moving again soon." Olivia said as her cell phone began to ring.

"Yeah, cheers Fin... Yeah, Alex is here too, Thanks, bye." Olivia said as Alex tried to make out what Fin had said.

"He know how long we're going to be in here?" Alex asked her voice blunt and cold.

"Yeah, he says the power stations are having problems, apparently it happened in Harlem the other day, and power was out for hours." Olivia said as she heard Alex sigh and pull out her phone, calling a number of people before she turned to Olivia.

"Is this a good enough excuse to miss court?" Olivia asked with a small smile figuring she best make peace with the blonde.

"Liz seems to think so, powers out at the courthouse and the DA's office." Alex explained giving Olivia a small smile.

"Alex, I don't want things to be awkward between us." Olivia said, probably wasn't the best time, but at least they had nowhere to run.

"Neither do I, but do you think now is the best time to discuss it?" Alex asked, they could discuss it now, but she'd much rather done it at home or in her office.

"Probably not the best place, but if we're going to be in here a while, might as well get it done and over with, because I know neither of us regret it." Olivia pointed out and Alex took a deep breath before placing her briefcase on the floor and leaning against the cool wall.

"Why don't you start seen as you're so eager?" Alex suggested with a smile.

"I just want our friendship back Alex, regardless of what happened we were stressed and annoyed, and... so many other things, but it happened, and I am not ashamed of it... are you?" Olivia asked trying to turn the tables to get the blonde to speak.

"No I'm not, but we can't go back to the way it was, I mean do you want to go back to just being friends when what happened... happened?" Alex trying to find the right words, but then wondering if she said too much, this was a bad idea; she couldn't have this conversation now.

Olivia took a step forward and Alex knew what Olivia was thinking, there was nowhere run.

"Olivia..." Alex breathed as the brunettes hands wrapped around her waist. As Olivia get closer and began to nip and Alex's neck.

"I thought you wanted this?" Olivia asked when Alex froze. Alex gently placed her hand over the detective's wrist.

"I do want it, Liv, I just," she hesitated for a moment, biting her lip softly, debating, "You wanted to talk, right?" Olivia leaned forward, pressing a gentle kiss to her lips, earning a gasp from the attorney, "I do. But you just look so..." she kissed her again, slightly harder, making the attorney moan low in her throat as she kissed her back, "beautiful."

"Liv..." Alex said, feeling Olivia's hand move down to the hem of her skirt.

Sucking in her breath, the attorney knew this could go some many ways.

"Tell me to stop then." Liv said with a grin as she began to slowly pull up the attorney's skirt.

Alex moved her head so she was leaning against Olivia's shoulder trying to hold in the moans.

"Tell me to stop if you don't want it..." Olivia said again as her hand reached Alex's panties.

The blonde couldn't speak; she knew it was wrong, this situation, but she didn't care, she wanted this, and she needed this. "I want you..." Alex moaned as she kissed the detective's neck, moving slowly up her jaw line, pulling her into a heated kiss. Olivia blindly began to pull down the A.D.A's underwear as Alex moved her hands under Olivia's shirt, moving them up her chest.

"Fuck..." Olivia breathed out.

As soon as the word left her mouth the elevator jolted and they began to move again.

Moving away from each other clothes went back to normal hair was quickly brushed with fragile fingers and both woman stood at opposites sided of the square.

"Would you like to come to mine tonight?" Alex asked taking a step closer.

"That would be nice, how does 7:00 sound?" Olivia asked wanting to make this quick.

"See you then detective." Alex said with a wicked grin smiling at Fin and John who were waiting for Olivia.  
"You okay Liv?" John asked.

"Yeah, glad to be out of there." Olivia lied smiled as she watched Alex walk out the precinct.

"Wow." Alex said under her breath as she walked out onto the bust streets of NYC.

* * *

So, end of one shot number 2!

Thank you so much for reading!  
Please leave a review, it means a lot!  
I love to know what you think!

Bethanyy!


	3. Chapter 3

**You're Important.**

Oo! Number 3!

**So, I am gonna try and be open with you guys… I began writing these one shots last year in late November and have only just found the courage to upload them, and you guys have been so nice and it's so lovely, but I just wanted to know if you guys want me to keep uploading? Mainly cause I worry about these things. Silly right?  
Still!  
If I do keep uploading I will be uploading every, Monday, Wednesday and Friday!**

This one is a lot 'safer' than the last one! Thank you so much for all the reviews and favorites and follows, ect! Means a lot!

Olivia feels so un-important and worthless when Alex is taken into WP; it's up to the squad to make her feel better.

A/N – The whole squad knew that Alex was in WP and not dead.

Please Enjoy, and review is you can, and have a great day!

**Disclaimer: I don't SVU; if I did... well SVU would be long gone.**

* * *

"She was the reason I felt good getting up in the morning and now she's gone, I feel like nothing." Olivia said as Elliot placed a supportive hand on her back.

"You need to move on Liv, you know she's safe, let it go." Elliot really hadn't chosen the right words but right now, they all needed to move on.

Alex wasn't coming back.

Walking out of the squad room Olivia tried her hardest to keep in the tears as she made her way down to the mortuary.

"Elliot called ahead, I put the kettle on." Melinda said as soon as she laid eyes on the detective.

"Okay... that was fast." Liv said with a slight laugh.

"Just let me finish up here and I'll join you." Melinda replied, and Olivia moved towards her office, smiling as she looked on Mel's desk to see a range of chocolate biscuits.

"I never knew there was a shop in the morgue." Olivia joked and Mel soon caught on.

"Casey comes down here a lot to chat... she never comes empty handed." Melinda informed making Olivia chuckle. Walking into her office once she had finished up the ME got straight to the point.

"Elliot said you can't move on..." She said, thinking that was the best way to hit a nerve.

"I loved her, and still love her... and I never told her." Olivia said, it was obvious to them all she had the hots for the blonde but no one dared to mention it.

"Why don't you write and possibly give it to a U.S Marshall, surely they'll give it to her..." Melinda suggested, thinking the best approach would be to let her talk about it.

"What would I say, I thought I could go back to how it was before I even met her, but I can't." Olivia said holding her heads in her hands.

"No need to be ashamed Liv, I mean, she meant a lot to you." Melinda tried, she wasn't really sure what to say, in all fairness she was with Elliot on this one, she had now lost count of how many times she and so many other had told the detective to talk to Alex, admit her feelings but she never did, it was human emotion to feel sorry for her but it was also human to want to say I told you so.

"I wish I had said something..." Olivia said and Melinda had to bite her tongue.

Just as the ME had thought of something suitable to say Olivia's mobile rang and Melinda could make out Johns voice saying something about a case and a lead.

"Duty calls, thank you Mel."  
"You know where I am if you need me." Melinda said with a smile, looking down at her desk to see how the detective didn't touch her coffee. Olivia was truly at a loss.

* * *

"I thought we never lied to victims?" Elliot said when Olivia walked in to observation.

"I didn't lie..." Olivia said knowing she did, but that wasn't important.

"You said you've been lucky and never lost anyone you loved." Elliot pointed out.

"Can we drop it, I got a name didn't I?"  
"Olivia what is wrong with you?" Elliot said he knew the reason he just needed to know it from her.

"I'm fine... Honestly."  
"No you're not, we can all see it, we know you're upset about Alex, but Olivia this isn't you." Elliot moving to close the door so no one else could hear their conversation, as their voices kept getting raised as they both aggravated each other.

"I'm not the same without her El, she was my life and I never got to tell her that... and now she's not coming back, I know it." Olivia said, saying the harsh truth that she knew was coming.

"Then you have today to do something about it..." He knew the US Marshall on Alex's case was in the DA's office this afternoon.

"You suggest I write her a letter?" Olivia asked.

"Well, she could spend the rest of her life in WP...Better late than never." Elliot said with a small smile before he decided to leave her with her own thoughts.

* * *

That night it was unusually cold compared to the mild warmth outside.

Olivia sat with pen and paper in front of her on the coffee table, she had been sat like that for the past hours, the words of Melinda and Elliot circled in her mind a long with the thousands of thoughts and feelings she had to fit into one letter. She spoke to the US Marshall today about writing a letter and he said he would make a trip to the 1-6 tomorrow, he seemed like a nice guy and Olivia was more than thankful.

'Dear Alex,

It has taken me far too long to tell you how I feel and I am sorry that I have to do it in a letter.  
Alex for such a long time we have been friends, since the day we met we have had out differences but we have always managed to be professional when we needed too. It was only a couple of years ago I realised my feelings for you were a lot more than friendship.

There is no other way to say this Alex, but I am in love with you, and writing this letter knowing you may never be able to send me an answer kills me, knowing you may be shipped out of state and you might never come back makes me want to curl into a ball and just cry.

I really hope you'll be able to come home soon, I am missing you already and maybe if... no when you come back we can talk properly.

I can't say much more, but Alexandra Cabot I love you... More than you will ever know and I promise I will wait for you and only you, even if that means going to my grave without a family, my heart is yours now and yours only.

My love forever and always,

Olivia xxx

* * *

Alex sat in the place she would have to call her apartment for the next couple of months before she moved again... and tried to focus on all the writing on the paper. The paper that was Olivia's letter that had been handed to her this morning, but it was only now at 11:25pm she'd got round to forcing herself to see what her favourite detective had to say.

Alex smiled at how the short the letter was and how she knew Olivia would curse herself for it, but it didn't matter to her.

The tears fell slowly as she read it. She was in love with her too, but now it was too late to say it. The fact that her moving away had seemed to have such a big impact on Olivia made Alex hurt even more inside.

But now at least she knew and she could sleep easy at night know that one day she could go back and hold Olivia to her promise.

"I love you Olivia..." Alex whispered quietly to the picture she kept in her handbag... she shouldn't have it, but she didn't care...Not right now anyway.

* * *

So end of number 3!

So, please review, let me know what you thought!

Means a lot to know what you think and if you have anything I can improve on, ect!  
Bethanyy!


	4. Chapter 4

**Save the queen...**

Number 4 – Already!

**Thank you so much for all the support and lovely reviews!  
It's early in the morning for me, so I am assuming it's extremely early in the U.S or other countries!  
But honestly! Your reviews, favourite, follows, it all means so much!  
Thank You! **

Alex is in contempt and when Olivia comes to save her she makes a snarky comment but Alex is too in love with her to care.

Please enjoy and review if you can, and have a lovely day!

**Disclaimer: I asked super nicely if I could own SVU... They said no... So I own nothing...**

* * *

Alex could have sworn the only reason she was in here was because she was trying to do her job, but she knew if she voiced her opinions once more she wouldn't have a job, so she decided to stay quiet.

Pacing back and forth in the small box she'd been put into only one person was on her mind.

Detective Olivia Benson...

She was on her mind all the time, Alex could only think of her and they'd only been dating a couple of months, they said they'd take it slow but by the third date that had gone out of the window completely.

Now she was pacing up and down the cage slightly faster was becoming a little claustrophobia.

"Alex, are you listening to me?" She heard Liz's voice and froze completely.

"No, sorry, what were you saying?" She asked, figuring she was already in enough mess as it was best if she started to play nice.

"Forget it, when you manage to get out of here come see me." Liz said feeling like she would only waste her time if she stayed.

After Liz disappeared out the door Alex tried to mentally prepared herself for a night it the cell due to knowing no one she could call at this moment to talk to the judge to let her out.

Finally sitting down Alex began to re read case files again and tried her hardest to concentrate but it wasn't so easy with guards watching her and a certain someone filling up her head space.

The words in the file seemed to become a blur after a while but still she tried to carry on but gave up as the banging in her head seemed to get worse and worse.

"Ms Cabot, we have some one here to see you..." A guard said, she looked up hoping to see Olivia but was sadly mistaken when she realised Liz had come back.

"I was wondering why you didn't come speak to me, and then I got a phone call saying you were still here... Detective Benson not come to get you yet?" Liz asked knowing it would hit a nerve.

Alex took a deep breath before she began to speak again.

"No, I am not sure who's gonna let me out, but I'm guessing it's not you."  
"Well I had a conversation with the judge and well she has her reasons." Liz began and looked as if she was going to say more but the voice of the one detective Alex was hoping for sounded in the in the Courthouse holding quarters.

"Reason that are BS..." Olivia said, not meaning to be as harsh as she sounded.

"Looks like you'll be home in time for the 6 o'clock news." Liz said throwing a glance at the detective before she left.

"It took you long enough..." Alex said as Olivia stood with a smile holding the key in her hand as if she was going to make Alex beg for it.

"Well not everything I do can revolve around saving you..." Olivia said making Alex look at her in mock annoyance and she grabbed her bags when Olivia unlocked the cell door.

"So wait... how did you know I was here?" Alex asked remembering she'd had no contact with the brunette since that morning.

"Put it this way... Judge Petrovsky has more of a heart then all you ADA's believe." Olivia said making it quite clear that it was the judge herself who placed in the call to Olivia.

"So then you just had to come straight down and get me?" Alex said taking a step closer, feeling like she was able to breathe normally now she didn't feel like a prisoner.

"Well as your girlfriend, I guess it's my job to save the ice queen..." Olivia said looking at Alex to see her reaction.  
"I would hit you right now if I didn't want to kiss you." Alex said pulling Olivia into a kiss; this was one of the things she lived for.

* * *

So, that's the end of that one...  
Please review, it means a lot! I love to hear what you guys think!  
Bethanyy!


	5. Chapter 5

**Ashamed of Me?**

This is number 5!  
Only on number 5 and already losing count!

Thank you for all the lovely reviews and support for everyone! It really does boost my confidence.  
I hope you like this one shot, what I will say is, this one shot is not meant to hurt no one, it is purely my writing, and well I hope you enjoy reading!

Olivia and Alex have been dating for 3 years when Olivia finds out Alex still hasn't come out as gay to her parents and now Liv thinks Alex is ashamed of her.

Please read and review also, have a fab day!

Enjoy!

**Disclaimer: I don't own SVU... Would be really cool if I did but I don't so...**

* * *

Olivia still hadn't spoken to Alex properly since she overheard the phone conversation the blonde had with her parents.

Alex had told them she was still alone, she had no one and wasn't planning on turning up to the Christmas Dinner on Christmas Eve alone. Olivia couldn't believe it; they had been together for 3 years, how long had Alex been lying to her parent?

Walking in that night Olivia knew Alex would have waited up for her.

"Hey baby, how was your day?" Alex asked even though she'd spent half of her day in the SVU squad room.

"It was fine; the squad are having a Christmas dinner on Christmas Eve." Olivia said, so badly wanting to bring up the fact of Alex's parents, she knew it was wrong but she was upset.

"Or we could go to your parents." Olivia said whilst she flicked the switch on the kettle.

"My parents are not having a Christmas dinner this year." Alex lied.

"Bull shit Alex, I heard you on the phone." Olivia finally lost it.

"What... You were spying on me?" Alex asked getting up from the sofa, it was true they would both fight their corner.

"I overheard you, and for saying you love me... I really can't see it." Olivia said, now all of her emotion coming through.

"I do love you..."  
"Well clearly not, your parents still think you're single, and I bet you anything you still haven't told daddy you're gay... We've been together 3 years Alex!" Olivia shouted banging her hand against the work top.

Alex didn't know what else to say, Olivia was right.

"So it's true..."  
"Well you're not really the type of girl to take home to the family are you?" Alex screamed out of frustration and anger.

"Is that really what you think of me, I must have been really blind for the past 3 years...I must be a real fuck up, if I am too much of a shit person for you to actually commit." Olivia said taking a step closer.

"Olivia..." Alex said trying to calm things down.

"I waited for years Alex; I turned down so many people to wait for you, first to come out of Witness Protection, then waiting for you to finally come back from wherever it was you buggered off to next..." Olivia started walking back to the kitchen running a hand through her hair.

"I must be such a shit detective... waiting on you for years blowing off every chance I had at starting a family for some blonde lawyer who pulled me on behind her..." Olivia carried on, now all the anger and frustration of the past couple of weeks coming out.

"Grow up Olivia, this is my point exactly, if this is what you're like when you're sober I wonder what you're like when you've had a drink!" Alex said proving her point even more.

"Now you're bringing drinking into it?" Olivia said with a small laugh, knowing Alex would do anything to win an argument.

"Well I guess its try what they say... Like mother like daughter." Alex said turning to face Liv as soon as she'd said it.

"Liv..." Alex couldn't say anything more before Olivia left the apartment.

She'd really fucked up this time.

* * *

Walking in the rain in the near dead of night was almost one of the worst decisions Olivia had ever made, she wanted so badly to go back to Alex, hug her, forgive her and make love until all the bad stuff disappeared from their thoughts but she knew the blonde wouldn't want it to be that easy, she'd want to apologise and talk about it until she felt it was all okay.

"I love you to bits, but you're not even here and you're making my life hell, just like when I was 17." Olivia said down to the grave that was covered in water from the fast falling rain.

"At least the weather man got it right." Olivia said, she was well aware that she was practically speaking to herself but she didn't care, she didn't want to talk about Alex right now, just to feel like she was having a normal conversation with her mother was enough.

After what seemed like forever she'd spoken from everything from her whether to her job and now she looked like a drowned rat.

Walking back to her apartment she wanted to speak to Alex, it wasn't her plan, but it was the only they could work this out.  
When she got in, fear shot through her when she realised Alex wasn't there.  
"Shit." Olivia said running a hand through her hair, truth be told she was a little upset at the fact that Alex had brought her mother into all this but lord knows Olivia had said some harsh stuff to Alex over the past 3 year in petty little arguments.

Hearing the door open and Alex's humming she sighed out of relief that the blonde hadn't gone and left.

"I was hoping you'd be here when I got back." Alex said upon seeing her.

"Yeah, well I'm going to go change." Olivia said a little lost for words.

"Oh Olivia!" Alex shouted just as she got to the bedroom door. Walking back Olivia braced herself for the worse.

"I need you to sign this." Alex said pulling what looked like a card out of her shopping bag.

"Why do I need to sign it?"  
"Because we can hardly show up to my parents' house and give them a Christmas card with only my name on it…" Alex said as it the argument never happened.

"We as in me and you?" Olivia asked a little shocked.

"Yeah, I called my mum and we had a long chat and somewhere in there I mentioned having a girlfriend and my mums reply was I have to take you to dinner this year, and I am pretty sure she said and I quote, I am so disappointed you never brought her last year or the year before, so when you got to work tomorrow you need to tell Cragen that you need the 23rd to the 27th off." Alex said with a smile as Olivia just stood in shock.

"You told your mum about us?" Olivia asked.

"Yeah… I am pretty sure they've known I was gay since I was 16 but no one said anything and I know I don't deserve you, but you do deserve a family and you do deserve to be loved and my family are very accepting." Alex said trying not to go all soft on her.

"You deserve so much more than the likes of me Alex." Olivia replied.

"I love you so much…" Alex said with tears no streaming down her face.

"How do I make it up to you?" Alex said, not caring that Olivia was soaked wet through.

"Well, I really hate having to shower a lone and the 23rd to the 27th is a long time… I am assuming we can't have sex at your parents' house…" Olivia said with a smile.

Alex just laughed when she caught on to what her girlfriend wanted.

"I love you Olivia…"  
"I love you to baby." Olivia said pulling her into another hug before she began to move towards the hall.

The argument was probably one of the worst one's they'd ever had, and at some point both woman knew they would have to speak about it, but right now, they were just 2 people in love.

* * *

Number 5 is done and done!  
So, I hope you like it!  
Please read and review, means a lot to know what you all think!

Bethanyy!


	6. Chapter 6

**Hopeless**

So this will be number 6!

Thank you for the reviews and support! Means so much!

After Olivia's involved in a car accident and is put in a coma, Alex admits that she'd be nothing without Olivia in her life.

A/N – This one shot was written whilst listening to 'Sweetheart' by Jont.

Please enjoy, read, review, smile, laugh, cry, have a fantastic day!

**Disclaimer: I own nothing…**

* * *

Thinking that you're my sweetheart

You're my sweetheart

If I never see you again,

Just want you to know what I think -  
Cause we got so far to go  
are we gonna get by?  
I can hardly see the road,

Yeah but I'm gonna try

I'm gonna try,

Cause you're my sweetheart.

Jont – 'Sweetheart'

* * *

Alex sat next to the hospital bed Olivia was currently in. She looked so peaceful, so calm and quiet, but the events that had gotten her there were anything but.

Keeping a tight grip on the brunettes hand Alex tried to hold in the tears whilst the doctor explained what had happened the car crash she'd been in could have killed her, but she was a fighter, putting her in a coma was the safest option they had and that she was a strong person.

"Thank you." Alex managed and it was clear to the doctors and interns she was broken. Looking at her phone she realised at some point she's have to tell someone hoping that they would tell everyone else. The urge to get up and leave was almost unbearable as she felt like Olivia deserved so much more than her. After all she caused the accident, she wasn't there but she caused it. They'd fought, Alex couldn't remember what about but it resulted in Olivia leaving in anger.

23 minutes later a phone call came through. Alex had always expected she's get the call in her office or after court, telling her Olivia had been shot, or someone had stuck a knife in her, but never something this… simple.

She knew deep down that she couldn't blame herself fully, but she guessed it was human nature to do that exact thing, when something went wrong, you blame yourself, everyone does it right?

A knock at the door brought Alex back from her thoughts.

"I thought it would be easier to come here instead of trying to call you." Alex was still unsure on how everyone knew so quickly, she only assumed the press was all over it, or the doctors had called Alex and Olivia's other Next of Kin.

"I get one more phone call I will be tempted to turn it off." Alex replied.

"It's all over the news and well you know what the press are like, they have a tendency to make things ten times bigger than they actually are." Alex smiled.

"Do you think she'll make it?"  
"I don't think I'm the person to ask."  
"She hasn't seen Elliot in 2 years, Amanda and Nick don't know her that well and I'm not sure how well Fin does either." Alex said looking up at him with a smile.

"You think I know her well enough?"  
"You've been her captain for 14 years, you're like a father figure." Alex said and Don stepped further into the room, sitting in the chair the other side of the bed to Alex.

"I sometimes wonder how she does it, she deals with the cases better than most of us, connects with the victim a lot better than Munch or Rollins… she breaks down every now and then, but Alex she has you now, and in the beginning she fought for her mother, she fought for the team, she fought for the victims, but now she fights for you. I don't know if she'll pull through this time, but I know she won't go down without a fight." Don said. Alex smiled at what he said.

"We got in a fight, she went for a drive, and the next thing I know she's in a coma." Alex said the tears now falling.

"I wonder some days why she still does it, why she can still put up with it, I mean I know A.D.A's who have left after a few days because of the crimes, but you and Munch and Liv, you've all put up with it for so long."  
"You'd have to ask her why, but, trust me, you're not the only one who questions why." Don said with a sad smile.

"We've come so far over these past few years, she's made me a better person, I thought that when I came back from WP, I assumed and I thought I knew I would never be me again, but when we go back together she made me realise that I was still the same, and she loved me… she said she _still_ loved me." Alex said bowing her head.

"When you came back, and then left again, she was broken but she made a promise in front of me and Elliot that she would never give up on you, that she'd always wait for you, Alex I don't know if she'll make it through this, but you must have hope and you have to believe she won't go down without a fight." Don said. He knew Alex felt hopeless without Olivia, but what else could he say, he didn't know what the next few days were going to bring, he knew Alex couldn't see the future and he guessed she knew that death was a possibility.

"Without her I'm nothing, I feel hopeless, worthless… it's like she's my life…" Alex said.

"You should tell her that…" Don said getting up.

"She in a coma, she can't hear anything…" Alex said looking up at him, her eyes red from crying, hair scrapped back into a bobble.

"You don't know that." Cragen said walking over and kissing her head before moving to kiss Olivia's forehead.

"I'm only a phone call away Alex." He told her before making an exit.

Alex had managed the sit for around an hour lost in her own thought, waiting for the doctor to come in again to do the 30 minute check-up – Still no change.

Then again it was better than Olivia getting worse, thinking positive was all Alex could do, and well she was still alive, in a coma, but still alive.

"Please don't die on me…" Alex said. Why she'd said it she had no idea, but she's said it.

"I am not sure god knows what I would do without you, people say you have to move on, but I've always been stubborn. I guess that's a good thing seen as whilst you're in here you won't be alone, not that you'd know the difference." Alex said laughing at her own words.

She let go of Olivia hand and got up out the chair she's been sat in, and moved to look out the window.

"I think the other driver of the other car is doing okay, he told police he wasn't looking where he was going, trying to sort out his children in the back seat, and they're okay too, just in a little bit of shock, but okay none the less, you weren't in the wrong yet you came off worse, it's like a case, I look at these perps in court and it makes me sick, they have it easy, some poor girl just trying to make a living, get on with her life and she either gets raped or killed and he's sat in a court room, still being able to breath…" Alex said turning back to the bed as if Olivia was going to sit up and talk to her.

"You have to wake up Liv, I can't stand to see you like this and we have so much more to go through, so much more to experience and I can't do this without you…" Alex said sitting down again.

"I never thought it would be like this, I always thought history would repeat itself and I would get shot again, but I know if it was the other way around you'd be okay." Alex's voice getting higher as she tried not to cry.

"You've always been the stronger one, so you have to get through this… If you can't do it for me, do it for all the victims, do it for all the good you can do, do it because you deserve a good life." Alex said, thinking somehow Olivia would understand.

"I need you Olivia…" Alex said saying one last final pray before she decided it was best she got some sleep.

* * *

It has been 2 weeks since Olivia was in an accident and she was still in hospital, but finally out of her coma.

"I know you stayed with me." Olivia said to Alex who was reading the newspaper.

"Really?" Alex said wondering how she could have known.

"I need you too." Olivia said, making Alex tear up.

"I am so sorry…." Alex said getting up to sit on the bed.

"I love you so much."  
"I love you too."  
Both of the sat hugging and kissing for what seemed like forever, but Alex's prayers had been answered and Olivia was okay.

Maybe she didn't have to feel hopeless after all.

* * *

Well that's number 6 done! Sorry if the title doesn't really go with it, but I thought it seemed ok!  
Please let me know what you thought, either through a review or you can PM if you like!

Bethanyy!


	7. Chapter 7

**I don't.**

Number 7 I believe! I have come up with some more ideas so not sure how many more chapters this will be, but I hope you're still enjoying them!

Thank you for all the reviews and support ect, ect! Means so much, you guys are truly the best!

The woman Alex is about to marry isn't Olivia.

A/N: Witness Protection never happened…

Please read and review and enjoy, have a good day!

**Disclaimer: I don't own SVU…**

* * *

Alex stood looking in the full length mirror surrounded by woman she had met only 2 months before. That was where things went wrong, she was not allowed to pick her own bridesmaids. Looking at herself she really didn't like the dress she was in, it had been made by her mother in law to be and really she wished she could burn it. The fact that the wedding was being held in Manhattan and she wasn't allowed to invite anyone but her mother and father made Alex sick.

"Please can I have some time alone?" Alex asked her voice quiet feeling quiet intimidated by the eyes that were on her. None of them said anything just gave her evil looks and left. Picking up her phone her plan was to call Olivia, but when that went to voice mail she called the one person she never thought she'd speak to when she really needed support.

"Liz, its Alex…" Alex said knowing how stupid that sounded.

"Alex… are you okay?" Liz asked knowing today the blonde was meant to be marrying some bitch she'd met a year ago.

"You were right…" Alex said thinking back to what Liz had said to her when Alex brought Charlotte to her office a couple of months back.

"I was right about what?" Liz asked now a little confused.

"Charlotte and Olivia, and everything, and I am stood in a wedding dress waiting to marry someone who I really don't love and I have no idea what I am meant to do." Alex began tears welling up in her eyes.

"Did you want me to pick you up, Detective Benson is in court, and I can request her to my chambers if you wish to speak to her." Liz said and it was really something Alex wasn't expecting.

"You would honestly do that?" Alex said making sure she wasn't hearing things.

"If you would like me too, Alex… I am no longer your boss and you deserve to be happy." Liz was now questioning what she was saying. She and Alex had become close over the past few years mainly because Alex still saw her as her boss and not as a judge.

"I'm at the New York Palace…" Alex said, it felt stupid saying that seen as it was one of the nicest hotels in New York and she was actually in it.

"I know, give me 20 minutes." Liz said before hanging up. Alex smiled to herself, knowing that no one else would have offered to pick her up, and let her wait for the woman she actually loved.

Alex stood in jeans and a white t – shirt in the foyer with her bag on her shoulder being looked at by everyone that was there, she prayed Liz would get here soon before the bridesmaids found out she was gone.

Just as she looked at her watched Liz walked through the doors and smiled at the blonde who was itching to get out of there…

"You ready to go?" Liz asked picking up Alex's overnight bag.

"Yeah…" Alex replied still amazed that Liz was being so nice, not that she wasn't nice anyway.

Once in the car Liz didn't start the engine instead she turned to Alex.

"Do they know you've gone?"  
"No, I left a note…" Alex said thinking how awful that sounded.

"Okay, well Olivia will be in my chambers when we get back, if court finished on time, and I have some people to see, so you can use my office." Liz said smiling as Alex before she turned the key in the ignition then driving in the direction of the courthouse.

Once finally there Alex smiled at how busy the place was, busy enough for no one to notice her and Liz walking through the main foyer.

Arriving at Liz's chambers Alex began to slow down.

"I thought this is what you wanted…" Liz said turning to face her.

"It is, I'm just trying to work out if she wants it too." Alex said as a sudden feeling of anxiety washed over her.

"Only one way to find out." Liz said walking into her office greeting detective Benson.

"With all due respect Your Honour, I really do have to be somewhere." Benson said trying to keep the up most respect.

"It's not me who wants to speak to you Detective." Liz said with a smile picking up some files before leaving the room.

Benson stood for a moment before turning to see Alex stood in the door way.

"Sorry for dragging you here." Alex said, it was the first thing she could think of.

Well the first thing she could think of that was actually appropriate.

"I thought you were getting married?" Olivia questioned.

Alex couldn't answer, more like she only had one answer that really wasn't the best thing to say right now.

"Alex…?" Olivia quested and that was it Alex gave up so easily.

"Because she's not you… from the first time we met I fell in love you Olivia, and she's not you, I can't marry her, I can't stand in front of her and so many other people and say hand on heart she's the love of my life." Alex said seemingly giving up on herself. Olivia stood thinking how beautiful Alex looked in just jeans and a white top with her hair pulled back with small jewels in her hair.

Olivia took a step forward and at this point it was all down to fate.

Pulling Alex closer their lips met and it sounded so cliché in Olivia's head but fireworks went off.

Pulling away slightly either of them knew how to react.

"That was better than I ever imagined." Alex said with a smile mover her hands onto Olivia's waist.

"Do you still love Charlotte?" Olivia asked wanting to make sure before they went any further.

"I don't." Alex said moving to kiss Olivia again.  
It didn't matter which way you looked at it, Liz wasn't going to be back in her office anytime soon.

* * *

Number 7 is now finished!  
I really hope you liked it, I really enjoyed writing it!  
Please review, let me know what you think!

Bethanyy! X


	8. Chapter 8

**Can't or Won't?**

So this is number 8!  
So far I think this has been the hardest one to write because it's my interpretation and what I think happened.  
Thank you so much, for the reviews and support and everything else, you don't know how much it means!

Anyway –

Acceptance is key – But Olivia is struggling to accept Alex is gone.

A/N – Alex is leaving to work elsewhere, WP never happened…

Please, read, review and enjoy!

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

* * *

"Can I say I told you so?" Elliot asked.

"Only if you have a death wish." Olivia replied not even bothering to look up from her computer. He told her straight out the day Alex left… he told her that she would throw herself into her work, her social life would once again disappear and she would never get over the blonde attorney. Although she would never admit that Elliot was right, he still believed he was.

"I'm fine El, honestly." She said, deep down knowing he was beyond right.

She was a mess, she missed Alex.

Olivia was happy for her, of course she was, this job offer was massive, but still it was hard to go home to an empty apartment.

"Not even you believe that…" He told her getting up and grabbing his suit jacket.

"Come on, let me buy you a coffee." He added with a smile. How could Olivia say no, she was exhausted and was in need of some more coffee?

Walking out the precinct Olivia squinted at how bright the sun was, but smiling as she saw a load of school children walk down the street obviously walking home from a school trip, seen as it was only 11:25.

Entering a café only a few streets from the Squad room Olivia slumped down in one of the booths, openly admitting defeat, she was shattered, she was almost broken. How she'd made it 3 weeks without Alex she didn't know, but she still feared her work would suffer and that's what bothered her.

"Here you go." Elliot said, whilst lost in her thoughts Elliot had been and ordered drinks and told her that he's ordered food.

"You wanna tell me what you're thinking?" He asked before taking a sip of his steaming coffee.

"I miss her El… we we're together and things were going so well and all of a sudden she moves away, we spoke about it once or twice and I was a fool for telling her it was okay."  
"You regret letting her go?" He questioned and she took a breath.

"I thought I could live without her, she was always so good at seeing right through me, I thought maybe if I didn't make such a big deal out of it, she's look and me and realise her moving away has almost killed me, at first I lived for this job, and then, all of a sudden I lived for her and I thought I would bounce back, I thought I's go back to living for the job, but I can't." Olivia said bowing her head.

"Haven't you tried to call her, and not just that has she tried to get in contact with you?" Elliot questioned knowing that it should be Olivia trying all the time.

"I tried but she seemed so happy and so at ease, so we spoke about life, I couldn't tell her how much I wanted her home, not when she sounded so happy." Olivia said, it was a constant battle between making herself happy and making Alex happy.

"I never knew you felt this strongly about her being away, in the office you kept saying how happy you were for her, I knew you would be upset, to be honest I thought you'd go with her." Elliot admitted making Olivia smile.

"I thought about it, but there's not SVU over there and I couldn't leave here, I was born here and she knows that… I honestly thought our relationship would make her stay, I mean even if she did leave the DA's office and got a job elsewhere as long as she stayed in New York, I am pretty sure we'd have worked something out." Olivia said as the food came, quickly saying thank you they carried on with their conversation.

"The way I see it, is you need to talk to her, tell her how you feel, give her a chance to speak… maybe you can work something out, Liv, she's the love of your life, I can see it, Fin can see it, hell even Munch can see it…" Elliot said trying to read his partners face.

Olivia was now lost for words, she so badly wanted to tell him to drop her off at the airport, but she couldn't do that to the squad, she needed to get her life back on track but how could she do that when Alex was her life and she was gone… of course long distance relationships were possibly but Olivia knew deep down neither women wanted that.

"Olivia I have known you what, nearly 11 years… you love her, you were in a relationship and from what I can see, her working out there is killing you, call her and try and work this out, for you sake as well as hers." Elliot tried. He wanted to make her see.

"The say acceptance is key, so I should accept she's gone right?" Olivia said suddenly now wanting to have this conversation anymore.

"Screw that, I can't…" Olivia said admitting defeat once again.

"Can't or won't?" Elliot asked and she looked at him, smiling a little with tears in her eyes.

"Can't." She said, her voice almost silent.  
Olivia was broken.

* * *

Thank you for reading!  
I really hope you liked it, I have spent the last few days sorting out idea's in total there is about 30... so..  
Well not very many come to think of it, but if you have any requests, I am all ears!  
Please review, I would love to know what you thought!

Bethanyy!


	9. Chapter 9

**It Hurts.**

So here is number 9…  
So, after spend two hours in a soft play area with screaming kids I finally sorted out all my idea! So, thank you for all the reviews and support! It's made me want to write more, so I hope you enjoy this!

When Alex see's Olivia crying, it kills her inside to see the strongest person she knows so upset and so broken.

Please enjoy, and review if you can!

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything…**

* * *

Sometimes people just break. Sometimes people cry because it all becomes too much, sometimes people laugh because it's either that or they'll break down in tears.

"Are you hungry, I can order some food?" Alex asked walking to sit down next to Olivia who was curled up on the sofa. Alex knew this day would come, the job she did was so hard and most people couldn't stand it for more than a few hours but not Liv. The case was hard, what had been done to those children was awful but Olivia kept her focus, part way through Alex could see it was all getting to much and she was right, they hadn't been in the apartment more than 5 minutes before she collapsed in tears.

"You can get some for yourself but I am really not hungry…" Olivia said sucking up a breath trying to hold the tears in.

Alex just nodded, planning to get her some food as well in hope she'd eat some.

"Do you want anything at all?" Alex asked standing to get the take away menus.

"No, thanks… I'm fine, really." Olivia said smiling at how worried her girlfriend had become.

Alex decided to leave it, and planned to talk about it later, maybe when Olivia had let all her emotions out and calmed down a little bit.

The night slowly passed and as Olivia silently cried whilst trying to watch TV and Alex couldn't take it any longer.

"Liv baby, please talk to me." Alex begged muting the TV moving closer to the brunette.

"Sometimes it all becomes too much…" Liv said looking up to the ceiling trying to stop herself from crying.

"I know baby… I know…" Alex said, she did know, she'd seen the pictures, she's seen the perps who showed no remorse, she could never say she had seen what the detectives had seen, but she's seen more than most A.D.A's.

Pulling her close it almost killed Alex to hear Liv cry as hard as she was, Alex pulled away enough to kiss her forehead then moving to kiss her lips.

"You know what we need?" Alex asked and Olivia shock her head a little, looking into Alex's eyes.

"We need to go away, no phones, no laptop, just a vacation, in a villa in massive heat with a swimming pool…" Alex said with smile as Olivia nodded.

"I think I would like that a lot." Olivia said, she loved her job, of course she did, but she so badly needed some time off.

"I can't stand to see you like this Liv, I wish I could take all this pan away…" Alex said, tears in her own eyes.

"I love you so much Liv, and this is so hard, to see you crying to see you upset…" Alex continued.

"I love you so much Alex…" Olivia said, it was the only thing she could think of.

"You know you can talk to me, whenever you like, don't you?" Alex asked figuring it was the best time to talk about it all.

"I know, I just, how do I explain it all Alex, I mean, so much of it reminds me of my mother and I try so hard to just let it go, but I can't."  
"You get attached Liv, and sometimes that's not a bad thing, I just want you to feel like you can talk to me about anything, you know I am in this for the long run…" Alex said they had already been together for 2 years and Alex was serious about having a future with the detective.

"I know, I know…" Olivia said, she had no excuse about not talking to the blonde, because she knew that Alex partly understood.

"Sometimes I just convince myself I can work through it on my own, I've done it for that long that it just seemed like the right thing to do instead of bothering you with it all, because 9 times out of 10 it's the same things." Olivia tried her hardest to explain.

"Olivia, I don't care if you say the same thing every time, if it helps you then I am okay with that, Olivia seeing you break down like you did, that hurts me, and I will do anything to stop it happening, or to make it a little less worse than it is." Alex said knowing there will be days where Olivia will just cry, she imagined all the detectives did it, maybe not cry, but she guessed that they had their days when they just need some time to sort their heads out.

"Thank you so much, for all of this… not just for tonight but for everything, the love and support…" Olivia said smiling at the blonde who began to blush slightly.

"You are the love of my life, and I mean that, and I want you to be happy and that is why I want us to go away, for a few weeks… just me and you, like I said." Alex said moving so Olivia could rest her head on the attorneys lap as they carried on talking.

"We can have a look tomorrow and once we've got a date I can tell Cragen… Do you think Liz will let you have time off?" Olivia asked.

"This was Liz's idea, I got pissed at her today because I saw how upset you were and I wanted nothing more to get home, so she suggested we go on holiday for a few weeks…" Alex smiled and Olivia laughed, she could see Alex getting pissed off because of her, it proved to Olivia she really did care.

"I have an idea to make you feel better right now." Olivia said with a cheeky grin.

"Really detective?" Alex asked having an idea of what Liv was suggesting…

"I think it will make all the hurt go away." Olivia said getting up and pulling Liv towards the bedroom.

This was going to be a fun evening.

* * *

Number 9 is now complete!  
Please let me know what you think, if you liked it, if it's was really awful!  
If you don't feel comfortable reviewing you can always PM me…  
Hope you enjoyed it!  
Bethanyy!


	10. Chapter 10

**Longest night; shortest day.**

So this in Number 10, out of quiet a few I think…

**A/N – So I want to say thank you, for all the support, but due to personal issues and, well me in real need of getting my head together, I will not be updating on Friday and possibly won't ne updating on Monday. Chances are I shall be back with Number 11 on Wednesday 26****th**** February. I am sorry, but… I just can't write, can't find the words, so enjoy this and If I am not back on Monday, I will defiantly be back on the 26****th****!  
I'm sorry, but thank you!**

I am hoping this will turn out okay, and I am hoping you guys like it, it's not really smut as we didn't write a lot of it, but I guess just kind of beware… that's not a good way to start this, but hey ho!

It's the shortest day of the year and Alex and Olivia decide to spend it in bed.

Co – Written by: HKS!

Please read and review and enjoy and… all that jazz!

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

* * *

"Finally we have the day off tomorrow." Alex said when she and Olivia got into the apartment at 11:30 that evening.

"You know what tomorrow is?" Olivia asked with a smile. Of course Alex did, it was every year this date was remembered along with birthdays, anniversaries and everything else.

"Shortest day of the year…" Alex smiled leaning up to kiss Olivia.

"And you know what that means…" Olivia said with a grin.

"Of course I do."

* * *

December 21st, also known as the shortest day of the year. In other words, the one day of the year both Olivia and Alex will fight to get the day off.

Waking up it was still dark, on the shortest day of the year reports from all over the world have said the sun doesn't rise until around 10.

"What time is it?" Alex asked as she heard Olivia moving…

"Around 6, you want some coffee?" Olivia asked and Alex sat up with a smile.

"I would rather have you…" She said forcing herself to become wide awake letting her hand run down the side of Olivia's naked body.

"The coffee can wait." Olivia stated quietly before turning to face Alex. Both women hadn't seen a lot of each other over the past few weeks seen as the case hadn't progressed that well and Alex was also covering for another A.D.A who was out sick, so there time together was precious and they knew exactly want they wanted to do.

Alex moved first, a smirk setting on her lips as she moved to straddle her girlfriend's hips.  
Her eyes fluttered shut, her fingers trailing up Olivia's stomach. Olivia's breath hitched, her hips instinctively tilting higher. One hand wove itself into Alex's hair the other joining the attorney's free hand against the bed. Lips hovered, breath mingled, blue eyes locked onto warm brown.  
"Alex…"  
The attorney grinned and bit down on the detective's bottom lip lightly before pulling her in for a harsh kiss. Swallowed the brunette's moan.

They pulled apart when breathing became a necessity, resting their foreheads together. Olivia grinned softly, skimming her fingers up and down Alex's sides before pulling the blonde flush against her body. She trailed kisses across Alex's collarbone, moving upward, biting softly at her jaw, before gently biting at her ear.

"Olivia…" The attorney breathed out, a low moan slipping from her lips.  
"Patience," The detective whispered in her ear before bringing their lips together once more.

As their lips met things escalated from there.

The day progressed and eventually Olivia and Alex were laying side by side, breathing heavily with their bodies still touching.

"Wow…" Olivia muttered, she said it every time they made love, and in her mind every time it go so much better.

"Yeah…" Alex said, with a smile rolling over to look at her girlfriend.

"How about some coffee?" Alex asked with a grin.

"Coming right up baby." Olivia said kissing her once more before finding some underwear and a t shirt and walking off to the kitchen.

Alex laid there, the thought of how happy she was and how amazed she was that she was sleeping with someone as amazing as Olivia ran through her mind, she truly was very lucky.

Olivia walked back in with 2 cups of coffee and a big smile.

"Someone looks happy." Alex commented as she took the cup of liquid and held it to her chin, before taking a sip.

"What the hell did you put in this?!" Alex asked trying to work out just what Olivia had put in the coffee.

"Just a shot of Baileys, just to make sure you can stay awake…" Olivia said, obviously having plans for later.

"It's not me you should be worried about…" Alex shot back with a smirk.

Olivia just looked at her with wide eyes, her way of saying 'nice one', but then again Alex was always good with the comebacks.

Getting back into bed, Olivia smiled as she saw the sun come up, looking at the clock it read 10:15… and neither of them wanted to get up.

"With any luck it will snow this year." Alex said turning to look out the window next to the bed.

"I hope not, you know how hard it is to catch runners on ice?" Olivia said knowing with snow came ice.

"I think it's funny when you all fall." Alex said.

"You think I'd laugh if you fell on the court steps?" Olivia asked trying to be serious…

"I guess we'll never know because I don't plan on going to the courthouse in the snow or in ice, and if I do, people are wrong if they think I will risk my ankles by wearing heels." Alex said trying to make a point.

Olivia just turned away and smiled, deep down, she knew she would most likely laugh at her girlfriend if that happened, and she loved how worked up she got over little things.

"We should have days off more often…" Alex said changing the subject.

"It would be nice…" Olivia said placing down her cup on the bed side table, and moving to pull Alex closer.

"I love you, you know that don't you?" Alex said looking her in the eye.

"Of course I do, and you should know I love you too…" Olivia said moving to trail kisses down the blonde's neck, Alex smiled and moved her head back.

"Olivia…" Alex moaned as her girlfriends hand moved down her body and stopped at the top of her thighs.

"You sure you want this?" Olivia whispered in her ear.

"I would never say no…" Alex said dropping her now empty coffee mug on the floor…

This was gonna be the best winter solstice, so far…

* * *

Thank you very much to HKS who helped me so much with this one shot!  
I really hope you still like reading!  
Please leave a review, let me know what you think…  
Bethanyy!


	11. Chapter 11

**Have to be right.**

This will be number 11!

**So, I am back... I just thought I'd add an A/N to the last one to tell you, that I wasn't going to be uploading but I am back now!  
**Thank you so much for the reviews and support, it means a lot!

People say Alex is always right and she will always deny it, but this time she really hopes they're right.

A/N: WP never happened.

Please read, review and most importantly enjoy!

**Disclaimer: I own nothing… would be cool if I did, but I don't…**

* * *

People would always joke on how Alex Cabot was always right, and sometimes that was right, but most of the time, she laughed and said it was either common sense or just inelegance.

However today she thought hard and prayed they would all be right…

Today was the date she had finally got the courage to ask Detective Olivia Benson on a date, she knew Olivia had dated men in the past, but the way they flirted, the way they looked at each other, Alex knew she could be very, very wrong, but if she only had to be right once in her life, she hoped she was right about this, about Olivia being gay and hopefully saying yes to a date with the squads A.D.A.

Alex had been pacing her office all day waiting for something to happen to talk her mind off Olivia being her in a matter of hours, however nothing seemed to work, she'd been invited to lunch by Casey and a few other A.D.A for homicide, and White Collar, but she turned them down, using paper work as an excuse.

All her life Alex had been told what to do and how to do it, even though so many people believed she had the best childhood possible, but right now she made her own choice and that was to go after the woman she loved.

Sitting back down at her desk for getting one of the law books off her bookcase she smiled when she saw Olivia's name pop up on her computer screen.

'Hey Lex,

I know you wanted to see me after shift, but I was kind of hoping we could do it around now, maybe grab some food? Looks like it's gonna be a long case…

Liv.'

Alex smiled as she typed a reply, mainly saying now would be great and grabbing food sounded better than reading thick bound law books.

Now all she had to do was force herself that this was a good idea and she was actually going to tell the detective how she felt instead of hiding it like she did over god knows how many times before.

When Olivia finally reached Alex's office she stopped to look in the window and smiled a little when she saw the blonde pacing her office.

"Deep in thought counsellor?" Olivia asked walking into the office. Alex stopped blushing a bit, before smiling.

"You want to go anywhere in particular?" Alex said changing the subject slightly.

"How about the Chinese down the street?" Olivia suggested with a smile knowing it was a safe choice for lunch in the middle of the day, giving her another excuse not to cook later.

"Sounds like an expensive lunch, but I am okay with that." Alex said with a smile, she really couldn't mess this up.

Soon enough they both walked into the restaurant and got a seat.

"Well, seen as I dragged you out your office, I'll pay." Olivia said, making Alex more nervous.

All she wanted was to be right… All she wanted was for Olivia to accept her love and hopefully love her back, but she knew that was going too quickly.

Food was ordered and brought out in record time for that time of the day and the food was always good. Watching Olivia go on about the case made Alex feel relaxed in a way, it wasn't supposed to, but to see Olivia get so involved and so personal in the cases she worked made Alex love the detective even more.

"So, you wanted to talk to me about something?" Olivia asked and Alex almost chocked, she couldn't lie… and well she knew in herself that this was Olivia and she didn't deserve some lame excuse she'd made up there and then.

"How long have we been friends?" Alex asked figuring she couldn't just come straight out and say she was head over heels for the woman.

"Nearly 10 years, why?" She asked with a small frown.

"Liv, I…" Alex couldn't finish her sentence, she couldn't do this could she, what if she wasn't right?

"Alex, come on, 10 years, you can tell me anything…" Olivia tried wanting to know what was going on.

Alex now had tears in her eyes, it was now fight or flight and she wasn't sure she could do this. She could be a good lawyer, she stood up to judges, she always did what she thought was right, but right now, it felt like her entire life was on the line.

"I love you Olivia, I know it sounds strange, I know I might be completely off base, but I love you, a lot, and I have done for years, I love you Olivia Benson, and I can't keep it a secret anymore." Alex said hoping that Olivia would answer.

Olivia sat and basically just started at her.

"Alex… have you finished your food?" Olivia asked.

"Yeah, just about." Alex replied now thinking she actually didn't say anything.

"I'll go pay…" Olivia said leaving the table. Alex sat and tried to stop the panic attack that she could feel starting.  
Before her breathing got too heavy Liv reappeared and pulled her up from her seat.

"Come on…" She said with a small smile trying not to make eye contact.

Alex was now wondering if she was right or not, she hoped she was, everyone said she was, but then again she could be wrong, it's not like it didn't happen, all the third option was Alex was gonna wake up any second now and this was all going to be a bad dream.

Time seemed to fly and when Alex's mind seemed to focus again they were in Olivia's apartment building in the lift.

"Olivia, please tell me this is actually happening…" Alex said, finally finding courage to speak.

"This is actually happening, I promise you." Olivia said, and Alex just nodded following the detective down to her apartment.

"Alex… I think I'm falling in love with you too." Olivia said once safely inside.

"You're being serious?" Alex asked still confused.

"Yeah…" Olivia said before moving to kiss her, this was really happening. Well, at least if she was right about one thing in her life, she was so glad it was this.

* * *

Personally, I don't think this is my best work, but still...  
Please review, I would love to hear what you have to say!  
Hope you keep reading!  
Bethanyy!


	12. Chapter 12

**You talk, I'll listen.**

Number 12 out of, well I have no clue!

Thank you so, so, so much for the support! I am so happy you like them! Also, I am still taking requests, so feel free to PM me! Thanks again!

So, I really hope you like it! It was inspired by an experience my friend had…

Alex finally admit her feelings for Olivia to her boss.

Please enjoy, and if you can please review as well, but remember to have a good day! SMILE!

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

* * *

Alex sat in her boss's office. Neither of them had spoken, although the both of them knew Alex needed to be the first one to speak.

Alex had come from court where she had lost a case, one that seemed to mean a lot to Olivia, leading to the detective, being a little pissed off with the blonde A.D.A. So instead of going to the precinct, Alex decided to go back to her office and burry her head in her work, but somewhere along the line she had ended up in Liz's office, hoping she would give her some pep talk about being to personal and letting her emotions get the better of her, and saying this was her job and what other people thought didn't matter, because they couldn't do what she did in a courtroom.

"Shouldn't you be telling me that I should worry about friendships on my own time?" Alex asked after a long silence.

"Is that what you want me to say?" Liz asked and Alex paused for a moment before answering.

"No, not really." Alex said, she knew she was contradicting herself, but right now she wanted the chance to talk, to tell someone how she was feeling, and she figured what better person than her boss? She hated to say it, but if there was anyone that knew her better than her own family it was Liz.

"What do you want me to say then?" Liz asked putting her pen down, and put her full attention on Alex.

"Nothing…" Alex said looking down at the floor, before taking a deep breath to keep her emotions at bay, it had now got to the point where all Alex wanted to do was kiss the brunette detective she'd been dreaming about for so many years, but right now, Olivia was pissed at her and she couldn't get over it.

"You talk, I'll listen." Liz said sitting back in her chair, Alex looked up to see Liz wasn't joking, she had a smile on her face and was waiting for Alex to speak.

Maybe if she could tell Liz, she could maybe find the strength to tell Olivia?  
"She hates me… I let that bastard walk, and now she hates me." Alex asked dropping her hand from the side of her head.

"I mean, I did my job, it's nothing personal…" Alex went on to say, as if she was arguing with herself.

"She takes everything personally, you know that? I mean all I am trying to do is do my job and it's like, I can't even do that…"  
"But you can't stay mad at her…" Liz put in.

"How the hell could I, one it's not professional, and…" Alex couldn't finish herself, she couldn't do this, admit everything to her boss.

"Alex, before you go and admit whatever it is to her, you need to admit it to yourself, Alex, and she's a detective and as stubborn as you are… I don't think she hates you, I think she's pissed as the verdict and is taking out on you, because it's your job, nothing personal about it…" Liz said and even thought it didn't seemed like it, it made a lot of sense.

Seeing that Alex wasn't go to say anything, she spoke again.

"Alex you have 3 options here, 1, you can either go back to the squad room explain what went wrong and go from there, 2, you can speak to Detective Benson, tell her how you feel and see where that takes you or 3, you can sit here for as long as you like trying to explain to me your feelings for Olivia. Either one is fine by me, but trust me, the longer you leave it the more time she has to find someone else." Liz said, she knew full well Alex had a crush on Olivia, she may have been cold hearted but she wasn't blind, she also knew she sounded a lot like a nagging friend at the school disco but she didn't care, Alex was a big girl, but everyone needs a helping hand now and then.

"What if she doesn't love me back?" Alex asked refusing to make eye contact.

Everyone was scared of rejection, and what started out as you talk, I'll listen turned into I'll talk and you listen, so Alex took it as an opportunity to ask all the questions she felt she needed too.

"Everyone's scared of rejection, and if she doesn't then, you either have to go with it, or make her see that she should feel the same, but my best bet is that she's having the same conversation with Detective Stabler, people may see me as cold hearted, but I am not blind, I see the way she looks at you." Liz said with a smile making Alex chuckle a little, she knew what people said about Liz and to be honest, she was amazed at how little it bothered her, she truly didn't care.

"All I have to do now is talk to her…"  
"You always did catch on faster than most others." Liz said making Alex look down, why she didn't just talk to Olivia in the first place she didn't know, but she was glad she finally spoke to someone.

"Will you be here if it all goes down in flames?" Alex asked, why she asked her boss she didn't know, but it was sure fact James from Homicide wasn't going to listen to her ramble on for an hour.

"Of course, now go before I kick you out, and Alex… what happened in court today, you were doing your job, you're a good lawyer and don't forget it." Liz said pointing at her with the pen she's picked up.

"I won't." Alex said with a smile. She figured her father and Liz were close, her father always had time for Liz, she'd always thought that's why Donnelly always kept an eye out for her when she first started out here.

Either way she liked it, not many people could say they were on actual good terms with their boss.

As she walked out of the D.A's office she took a deep breath, she knew this could only go one of two ways, she either got there and asked to speak to Liv and finally admitted she was so very in love with the brunette and she said the same thing back, or she got there admitted her feelings and Olivia rejected her, either way… Alex couldn't keep this a secret for much longer…

* * *

The phone ringing brought Liz out of focus.

"Donnelly." She said putting her office phone to her ear.

"Liz, its Alex, is now a good time?" Alex asked knowing how much timing was key in the DA's office.

"Yeah, are you alright?" Liz asked taking off her glasses and rubbing her eyes.

"Yeah, I was wondering if I could have the rest of the day off." Alex asked her voice sounding hopeful.

"Of course, as long as I get those reports by close of business tomorrow…" Liz said, knowing she needed the reports.

"I can do that tomorrow morning when I come in, thank you for earlier as well." Alex said and Liz could tell she was smiling.

"You're welcome, I'll see you tomorrow."  
"Yeah, see you tomorrow…" Alex said before hanging up the phone. Turning around she was face to face with a very smiley Olivia Benson, this was going to be a good day.

* * *

Number 12, is now done.  
I know a lot of you may see it as very OOC, but I hope you still like it.

Please leave me a review, or PM me, means a lot and I am always looking to improve!  
Thank you for reading! Until next time!  
Bethanyy!


	13. Chapter 13

**State Secrets.**

Number 13! Can't believe I haven't given up yet!

**I won't go into anything personal in fear of boring you, but the next few weeks for me are going to get very difficult, and I fear, I may get very down, and not want to upload, and I am hoping you still like them, so I am updating to today and tomorrow (Saturday and Sunday)~ Thank you for all the help and support and hopefully, I should be able to upload next week. Enjoy.**

Detective Olivia Benson is dating Major Alexandra Cabot of the USMC, and only Elliot know about it, until this case.  
A bit A/U and a little OOC, but I hope you like it!

Please review if you can, and make sure you have a good day!

**Disclaimer: I don't own SVU.**

* * *

Olivia hated cases like this, she hated joint investigations all together.

"Right, as you can all tell we are doing a joint investigation with Navy cops, they know what we do and are just as egger to get this guy as we are." Cragen said walking up to the whiteboard and sticking PFC Jayne Ryans' photo on there.

"Also coming in to help us, will be a Major from the base and her CO." Cragen said knowing they would be showing up any minute now.

"Thank you for having us." A voice came from the door.

"I'm Patrick Morgan, PFC Ryans' commanding officer, and this is Major Alexandra Cabot…" Patrick said introducing himself and his superior.

"Would you like to come this way to my office, I can fill you in, Olivia, Elliot, go through a list of witnesses and people who were with her in the hours leading up to the attack, Fin, Munch go see if Warner or forensics have anything." Cragen said before showing Patrick and Alexandra to his office.

Olivia held her breath, this was going to be a long case.

"Liv, that's…" Elliot begun.

"I know." Olivia said looking back at him, she seemed professional, hopefully she wouldn't be here that long as there relationship could remain secret, for both of their sakes.

* * *

"PFC Ryans' was a good kid, came from a broken home, dedicated all she had to the Marines, never got into trouble, had a few altercations off base, but the people involved had just been on a 3 week training mission and from what I could tell they had had a few drinks, but it was all sorted the next day." Patrick Morgan said pacing the office. PFC Jayne Ryans' had been raped, beaten and burned before she was killed at left in central park, it was a case that shock SVU and Marines all over the US.

"Sir, can I request I go along with your detective to interview witnesses, it sounds unorthodox, but they have all been told not to speak to anyone, its standard procedures.

"Well, if you can get them to talk I have no objections." Cragen said, he understood where the blonde was coming from, he's working military cases before and it had taken days to get anything out of them, due to the fact, they had each other's backs, and if them meant not speaking, they didn't speak.

"Olivia, Elliot, come here a minute." Cragen said standing the door way to his office, catching the detectives before they left.

"This is Major Alexandra Cabot as you know, I want you to take her with you, and they're not going to talk to you unless they have permission." Cragen said and both detectives seemed to understand.

"Back to base it is then major." Olivia said with a smile, and they walked out the squad room.

"You may call me Alex, besides, I am thinking PFC Ryans' friends will open up more if they're around someone in uniform." Alex said getting in the back of the squad car.

"Do you get many none military people on the base?" Olivia asked thinking interviewing Alex would be a good place to start.

"Not that I know of, you'd be some of the first that are not family." Alex said looking down at her phone.

"So how do people get in?" Elliot asked with a smile.

"Key card and someone is on the gate 24/7." Alex said looking up, making eye contact with Stabler in the mirror.

"So all you have to do is find a key card and you're in." Olivia said with a smirk, hopefully they had CCTV.

"It would also help if you were in dress blue charlies or combat gear." Alex said with a smile.

"Well that narrows it down to just about everyone on the base." Elliot said letting Alex get out the car to show her I.D to the guard.

* * *

Elliot was currently talking to a lad who seemed to care about Jayne an awful lot and Olivia had finished talking to the girls in the same unit as Ryans'.

"Just waiting for Elliot to finish… none of the girls I spoke to saw munch just the lad who Elliot's with, said he was hanging around her quarters the day of the attack." Olivia said.

"I got the records, PRF Jack Miller and PFC Jayne Ryans' left the base the same time Friday evening when she was attacked, they left at 18:00 and he returned at 20:00 that evening. I still can't believe no one found her over the weekend." Alex said with a small hint of disgust mainly in herself the staff at the base.

"Do you have to ask permission to leave the base?" Olivia asked.

"Yes, and you have to give a reason why, Ryans' said she needed to buy a gift for her sister, she was having a baby and Miller said he wished to go to the local library to return some books, we have a library here but we allow them to go to the library in town as well." Alex said, it wasn't unusual for Marine to go off base, out of hours as long as they were back for curfew.

"You believed they were good enough reason to leave the base?" Olivia asked with a smile her eyes quickly scanning the blondes' body, thinking of how good she looked in uniform.

"Ryans' had been here 3 years and only left the base 3 times including Friday night, although Miller leaves the base whenever he can, always going to the library, we spoke to the library, he takes out books and then returns them when they're due… Olivia we are a military base we run like any other, in a few weeks when full training begins again no one Is allowed to leave the base unless it a family emergency." Alex said beginning to feel like she was the one being interviewed.

"You never told me you were working this case…" Olivia said changing the subject.

"I only found out this morning, besides if anyone finds out about us both are judgements will be shot." Alex said talking a step away.

"You ever think about leaving the military, starting a family, having a nine to five?" Olivia asked taking a step closer but not before looking down the hall to make sure they were alone.

"Do you?" Alex shot back with a small smile as Olivia placed a kiss on her lips.

"Liv…" Elliot called walking down the hall and Olivia stepped back.

"What have we got?" Olivia asked.

"A picture, Miller took it, said this man approached Jayne Ryans the Friday night she was killed, Miller said he loves the core too give up his name." Elliot said handing the picture to Alex.

"We should go back to your precinct, I need to speak to Patrick Morgan." Alex said, looking at both Elliot and Olivia hoping now questions would be asked.

Back at the precinct Alex and Patrick were talking, both of them seemed flustered and confused.

* * *

"Liv, something bothering you?" Cragen asked, when she turned around the whole team was looking at her.

"No, why would it?" She asked.

"Well you've been staring at Major Cabot for the last 20 minutes.

"Sorry, just trying to get a read on them." Olivia said with a smile.

"You two met before, because when I introduced you, the both of you seemed to know each other pretty well." Cragen pressed.

Olivia sighed.

"I've known her for a couple of months, we're close." Olivia said and suddenly both Patrick and Alex came out of the office.

"What can you tell us?" Cragen said, looking at them both.

"We have a major problem…"  
"One bigger than you and Liv?" Fin muttered making Alex turn to Olivia in shock.

"I'll ignore that…"  
"The man in the photo…" Patrick said, looking to Alex.

"He is a match to the seaman found on PFC Ryans' body we asked are lab to run it as well."  
"His name is Sean Nelson, secretary of the United States Navy." Alex said and the whole department including other detectives stopped.

"We're requesting no new coverage and no one outside of this room to know about this." Alex finished and a man in a grey suit walked in.

"Let me introduce Kyle Davis, Deputy Secretary of state." Alex said stepping aside.

"As of now The SVU, Miss Novak, Miss Warner, Major Cabot and Commander Morgan are under orders from myself, the PFC Jayne Ryans' case will now be known as Operation Kill Switch and will be classed as a State Secret." He said his booming voice bouncing off the walls of the otherwise silent squad room.

"Captain Cragen, Miss Novak, Major, Commander, May I have a word?" He asked and Cragen nodded leading them to his office.

"Alex…" Olivia said.

"I love you… just remember that." She said before turning to walking to Cragen's office.

* * *

Olivia was woken up from her kip on the sofa, by a knock at the door.

"Coming!" She shouted a little annoyed as whoever was knocking.

"Detective…" Alex said with a small smile.

"Alex, what are you doing here?" Olivia asked, Alex was still in the office with Cragen when Olivia left.

"I wanted to see you, I told the Deputy that I was seeing you…" Alex said feeling it was probably a good place to start.

"What happens now?" Olivia asked, finally letting her in.

"We carry on seeing each other and don't let it get in the way of work, tomorrow you will be briefed by your captain, but your team including the M.E and A.D.A will be moved to a building near the military base that is normally used for intelligence training." Alex said.

"You told me in the squad room, in front of everyone that you loved me Alex…" Olivia said, she was still in shock, and still a little embarrassed about the fact Fin was right.

"This could be a long case Olivia, there's no telling if we're still like each other after this… State Secrets, they're live going on an undercover mission, we need to get this wrapped up as quickly as possible." Alex said, turning into the Major.

"Best have a good night tonight then, to make up for all the time we might lose." Olivia said, trying to say positive. She was determined not to lose Alex.

"Sounds good to me." Alex said moving to kiss her.

"I have to say you look very lovely in uniform, but you looking even better when it's on the floor." Olivia said pulling her in the direction of their bedroom, she's been there many times before, but tonight she could sense this would be one of the best nights of her life.

* * *

So number 13 is done!  
I hope you like it, please review, means a lot to know what you guys think!  
Until next time my friends!  
Bethanyy!


	14. Chapter 14

**Exception**

Number 14, out of, I have no idea.

**So after finding out all the dates and time of meetings I can still upload on Monday, Wednesday and Friday next week, are you happy. Please let me know you're happy about it! **

**THANK YOU, so much for the reviews and support, I hope you chose to keep reading! **

Melinda doesn't normally bring good news but today is an exception.

Please read and review and enjoy, and have a good day!

**Disclaimer: I own nothing…**

* * *

"We're gonna be alright no matter what happens, you know that don't you." Alex said from her desk, watching her girlfriend deep in thought on the sofa.

"Yeah, I'm just not sure how much longer I can put up with waiting, I mean, I would rather Melinda tell us than the other doctor, but… waiting is the hard part." Olivia admitted, she hated waiting, she hated the anxiety and anticipation.

"I know, but no matter what happens I love you, you know that don't you?"  
"I know, and I love you too Alex." Olivia said getting up and moving to kiss the blonde making her rise from her seat.

"You have to remember we're not at home…" Alex reminded and she heard Olivia sigh a little bit.

"Well, it could be hours before Melinda comes, and besides all we have to do is lock the door and close the blinds, no one will know." Olivia said with a smile planting kisses on the A.D.A's neck.

Alex smiled, leaning back into the detective's touch.  
"The answer is still no, Liv, but you know I could go for a massage right about now." Alex said with a smile sitting back at her desk.

"I bet you could…" Olivia said walking back to sit on the sofa with a smile

"Take that as a no then." Alex said with a smile, before she moved to sit on the sofa with her girlfriend, only a moment ago, Olivia seemed so happy, but the reality sunk in.

Entwining their fingers Alex smiled before she spoke.

"It's going to be okay Liv, I promise you." Alex said moving to kiss her hand.

Olivia smiled at her girlfriend's actions before smiling at herself, she really could get herself worked up sometimes, but at least she knew she has Alex.

"Your father wants us to go and visit." Olivia said changing the subject, it was nice of Alex's father to keep in touch, but it was Alex's mother who had an issue with her daughter being gay, however Alex didn't let it bother her, and it had been 5 years.

"You have more contact with my father than I do…" Alex said with a laugh, trying to think of something else to say.

"I guess you're always at work…" Olivia said with a smile.

"What, and you're not?" Alex shot back with a small laugh. It was nice, to feel like you could be yourself with someone, of course they had there good days and bad days, and they both knew they were as stubborn as hell, but they knew each other's strengths and weaknesses, that's why they went so well together, they balanced each other out, and only had love to give.

"Don't you have court this afternoon?" Olivia asked in another attempt to strike up conversation.

"No, but I do have a meeting with Liz and a few other A.D.A's, which means drinking awful coffee and listening to the A.D.A from White Collar go on about how we should improve the bureau." Alex said with a small smile.

"Isn't Liz mean to chair these meetings?" Olivia asked.

"She tries, but I mean, we're doing the best we can and conviction rates are getting better, so there's not a lot to improve on, but this guy's father is within the top sector of the legal hierarchy so…"

"So you all sit there drink nasty coffee and pretend to listen?" Olivia questioned with a smile.

"You're learning!" Alex joked with a smile.

"When's Cragen expecting you back?" Alex asked after moments of silence. Both of them were lost for words, all they wanted to do was go back to work, but at the same time they wanted to results from Melinda. It was scary for the both of them, but neither of them could bring themselves to talk about it, now after how it ended last time. The pain and stress they had gone through over the past few months had almost cost them their relationship, but they managed to stay strong with the help of friends and family…

"Around midday, but he has said, that whatever happens if I don't feel up to going back, then I can take the rest of the day off." Olivia said with a smile. Liz had told her to talk the full day off anyway, but Alex insisted on coming into work, Liz had also told her to go home after they got the call, good or bad news but again she refused.

"But I take it you're going back to work?" Alex asked and Olivia smiled, it was true, they knew each other well.

"I have a job to do…" Olivia said then debating if it was the right thing to say.

Averting her eyes to look around Alex's office, she saw it hadn't changed in the years she'd been at the D.A's office, the same ornaments on the book case, the books in the same order, and the whole room almost spotless, Alex's office was not very personal at all. If you walked into Casey or one of the Judge's Chambers they had photos of friends, family and other various things, but Alex had only 2 photo's in her office, one of her and her family when she went on a family holiday to Miami over 2 years ago and one of her and her older Brother Noah who she was very close too. Alex caught Olivia looking over at the 2 photos that were sat onto of the cabinet where she kept a load of stuff she got when she first started, various copies of thinks such as health and safety regulations and names and numbers of press officers and other people who could help in certain cases.

"We're organising another trip to Miami, my father and brother want you to come a long…" Alex said making Olivia jump a little.

"Would be nice, I can finally get a tan…" Olivia said with a laugh before going dead silent when the phone rang.

"Yeah…" Alex said answering the phone in typical Alex fashion.

"No, Melinda its fine, haven't got to be anywhere." She said indicating to Liv it was the medical examiner.

"Okay…" Alex said learning back in her chair.

"Right, yeah, well I was going to say something but thought I best wait."  
Olivia tried to figure out what was going on but Alex was good at not showing emotions.

"Okay, well thank you, honestly." Alex said with a smile, trying to end the phone call as soon as.

"Yeah, Okay, bye…" Alex said hanging up and leaning back in her chain before getting up and sitting next to Olivia.

"Alex?" Olivia asked looked at her with worried eyes.

"It worked…" Alex said and tear immediately went to her eyes.

"It worked, are you being serious?" Olivia asked hoping she heard it right.

"Yeah, it really worked!"  
"You're pregnant!" Olivia practically screamed, pulling Alex closer to her.

"We're going to have a baby…" Alex said moving to kiss her girlfriend.

It was known Melinda didn't normally deliver good news but today was an exception.

* * *

This honestly took forever to write!  
However, I like it, so I hope you do too!  
Please review if you can! Means a lot to hear what you think!  
Until next time!

Bethanyy!


	15. Chapter 15

**Confrontation**

So number 15 already!

I am so happy that you guys are still reading! I am amazed you actually like it!  
So, just a note to say, I will not be uploading on Wednesday, I would tell you why but, it's long, complicated and boring. So, I hope you keep reading and bear with me… After a few days my updating pattern will go back to normal!  
Thank you for all the reviews and support, means a lot!

This is a little different to my other one shots as it doesn't actually have Liv in it, but still!

Casey confronts Alex after she and Liv have an argument in the middle of the squad room.

Please read, review, enjoy, have a good day… You're loved!

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything…**

* * *

No one knew what to do.

People were trying to stay silent as Olivia went one way and Alex stormed off the other way.  
The both of them had just had a screaming match in the middle of the squad room that wasn't in any way related to the case.

Elliot decided it would be best to follow Olivia as she went up to the roof, just to make sure she didn't do anything stupid. Casey kept her head down and followed Alex with the same intentions as Detective Stabler.

Not many people knew Alex and Olivia were together but now, it would be round the station house in 5 minutes flat. Olivia had said something about her being stubborn with the evidence in court and Alex had shot back about how Olivia was far to personally involved and it escalated from there with Alex having the last word by saying something along the line of how she shouldn't even be working for this unit.

No one could quiet believe it, Cragen opened his mouth once or twice to shut them up, but no one could bring themselves to do it, they were in too much shock, of the things that were being shot back and forth.

"Right, so where are we on the Laurence case?" Cragen asked and the sound of shuffling paper could be heard as his detectives gathered there notes.

* * *

"Nice one Cabot." Casey said as they walked into the lift.

"If you're gonna be like that I will take the stairs." Alex said and Casey remained silent for a moment.

Moving to flip the emergency switch on lift Casey stood and looked at Alex.

"Look Casey, I like you and all, but I am not about to have this conversation." Alex said leaning against the wall, figuring there was no way she could flip the switch without the red head stopping her.

"At first you two were so in love she practically began to live in the DA's with you, and now it's like the two of you have been enemy's since day one." Casey said, it was true… The both of them were so in love at first and Casey was the person Alex told and now it was like they both hated the sight of each other.

"How can I hate the sight of her when she's never home?" Alex shot back.

"You see her almost every day at work, Alex, it's not like you're apart 24/7." Casey said although she could see where the blonde was coming from.

"She a different person when she's here, and lately all she seems to do is go on and on about this case and the victims and, honestly I will sit and I will listen to her, but there's only so much I can take, it's like I've lost her." Alex explained best she could.

"Well then try and get her back, you have to talk about these things, preferably quietly and in your own home, now have a screaming match in the squad room; keeping in mind we don't actually work here Alex." Casey said, she was pissed off that the two were somewhat walking on egg shells around each other but what she really didn't want if for herself to become the go between.

"Again I will say, she is never home! Casey I love her I really do, but what does she expect me to do? Sit and listen to every detail of every case, knowing that she would rather do that then spend time with me?" Alex said running a hand through her hair.

"It's not really like you're the most outgoing person Alex, and again speak to her, or for heaven's sake, I'll talk to her if it means this will stop. Alex you're one of my best friend we've known each other for years so please, do what you do best and talk to her and try and make things right, you have no problem doing it in court…" Casey said making the blonde chuckle a little.

"The difference is I am not deeply in love with court am I… All this bull shit about wanting a proper relationship and as soon as we're in one it's fantastic then a few weeks later, I feel like I had a one night stand that no one will speak about… It's bad enough that now the whole squad knows, she's gonna hate me for it." Alex said looking down to avoid Casey gaze.

"No she won't she's pissed because of the case, not because of you."  
"You sure about that?" Alex asked trying to get the upper hand.

"Hell Alex, people would kill to have what you have, she loves you, and again for the 100th time, talk to her, you are in love, people in love fight… and hell if you leave her cause of this I will hate you, and since when do best friends hate each other? You love her, a blind man could see that, you just have to tell her how you feel and if that means telling her to shut up about whatever case she's going on about do it, Alex working in this unit is hard we all know that, so I don't think it will come as a shock to her, that in your head talking about rape case is not dinner time conversation." Casey said, now she knew she was repeating herself.

"Fine, I will speak to her, tonight, if she gets home in time, but on one condition." Alex said firmly finally feeling like she could talk.

"What?" Casey asked with a smile knowing it would involve money somehow.

"You're buying me lunch, for giving me a pep talk and practically trapping me in a lift." Alex said, feeling slightly claustrophobic.

"You have yourself a deal, counsellor." Casey said flipping the switch and the life jolted a little before it began to move.

"Oh and you can tell Liz why we're late back if we miss the beginning of the meeting we have in 45 minutes." Alex said and they both knew they wouldn't be back from lunch in time.

"Having Donnelly scream at me, worth it, if you and Olivia make up." Casey said with a smile as both A.D.A's stood facing the doors, smiling a little before the doors opening and they walked out with straight faces.

Alex and Olivia were going to make up and both were both gonna see they deserve each other and they go together, if it was the last thing Casey ever did.

* * *

Very Casey centric, I think. I'm sorry!  
Still!

Please review, it would be nice to know what you think!  
Thank you for reading!  
If you have any requests feel free to PM me! Until next time!

Bethanyy!


	16. Chapter 16

**Make it up to you!**

Number 16 – The list is still growing!

Please keep in mind that all these one shot are individual one shot, they have no sequel… I am sorry. Most of these one shot were written in December, so unfortunately I cannot change them, although if you want a one shot written, you may PM me and I shall see what I can do!  
Thank you!

So – The D.A's office is on lockdown causing Alex to miss her dinner date with Liv, when they're finally let out Alex must make it up to her.

A/N - Italics are phone calls...

Please read, review, enjoy, have a good day, ect!

**Disclaimer: I own nothing… **

* * *

Alex Cabot swore under her breath for the 5th time that hour.

She was sat in the conference room with A.D.A's from White collar, Homicide, Immigration, the Human Trafficking division, cyber crime and other A.D.A's from Sex crimes. All of them we're pissed off, all of them had work to be doing, all of them were good lawyers but still the guard at the door wouldn't answer them.

"How long are we going to be in here?" Alex asked to no one in particular.

"However long it takes I guess." Marcus said.

"Does anyone actually know why we're in here, I mean this is the D.A's office, we don't get put on lock down." Charlotte said with an annoyed look.

"Well according to the health and safety regulations there are over 10 reasons why…" Henry said closing the file and throwing it on the table.

Alex sighed, right now she could be sat in a restaurant with Olivia watching the 6 o'clock traffic try and get home, she had text Olivia earlier, but whether the detective believed her or not was a different story, she swore this was like the 4th time she's had to cancel or postpone their dinner date, but on the plus side, they had been together for 2 years, so Alex wasn't that worried but still, she's rather be with Liv than sat where she was.

Taking another deep breath she tried not to bite other people's heads off. She was a people persons, and she tried to get along with everyone but after being stuck with other A.D.A's who were so full of themselves she really did want to punch something, or someone.

"So Alex missing out on much?" A voice came for across the table.

"No, just paper work and catching up on reality TV." She lied. Only the SVU detectives, Donnelly and Casey knew about her relationship, and she wanted to keep it that way, it may have been 2 years but Alex wasn't one to share her personal life with everyone.

"I think we should all make a break for it." A female voice joked. Making Alex chuckle a little. That was a good plan… means she could finally get out of here, not only was she missing Liv, and getting very annoyed, but she was beginning to feel as if the walls were closing in…

Alex glanced at the clock, finally it was getting to 4:30 and sooner or later they were going to be let out. There was only so long they could keep them in that room and there was only so long that so many angry lawyer could wait before shouting threats.

"Right, if you will please follow me, you will be briefed on what has been happening over the past 3 hours." A voice came, he sounded posh and British, but at that point, they didn't care if he was a dog, they all just wanted to get out of there. Alex was pissed beyond belief, all she wanted to do was make it up to Liv, in any way she could, she had a few ideas but if they'd be enough, she didn't know.

It took a further 25 minutes before Alex classed herself as free! She almost ran out of the DA office, and finally felt like she could breathe again, she managed to get to her car without talking to anyone else, despite people calling her name she just ignored them. Once safely in her car she called Liv and thanked the lord she answered quickly.

_"Liv, I am sorry… so, so, sorry!" Alex said as soon as Olivia said hello…_

_"Its fine, I got a phone call from the DA's office, explaining about what was going on…" Olivia trailed off a little at the end.  
"I'll make it up to you, I promise!" Alex asked putting her keys in the ignition._

_"Good, because I have had a bad day and well, I have some idea on how you can make me feel better, and make it up to me…" Olivia said with a small smile, although Alex couldn't see Olivia knew in a way she could tell._

_"You're on detective, I'll be home within the hour…" Alex said blushing a little, she had a few ideas on what Olivia had in mind.  
"I'll see you then baby…" Olivia said before hanging up._

_God Alex loved it when Olivia called her baby, it made feel so loved. _

The attorney swore she broke the speed limit at least 3 times whilst driving home.

"Honey, I'm home…" Alex shouted walking into the apartment.

What she saw next was something that almost made her heart stop.

"You look... really, really hot…" Alex said with a gob smacked look on her face as she moved forward to put her bag down and take off her shoes.

"Why thank you…" Olivia said with a small smirk. She was wearing a lace bra which was visible underneath the silk small night gown she had on. Alex smiled to herself as she thought about if this was how she needed to make it up to Olivia she would miss dinner more often.

"Take it were skipping dinner?" Alex smiled not taking her eyes off the brunette.

"We can eat later baby, I promise…" Olivia said turning to walk down to the bedroom.

Alex didn't say anything she just smiled and followed.

"Besides dinner shouldn't matter…"  
"And why is that Liv?" Olivia loved it when Alex called her Liv, everyone did it but there was something about how the name rolled off Alex's tongue that just made her blush.

"You promised me you'd make it up to me." Olivia said with a grin, and with that Alex shut the bedroom door behind her and dinner was soon forgotten about.

* * *

Number 16, done and done!  
So, I will probably upload this in like March, but I wrote this on the 25h of January, in the middle of a storm, so, thank you for reading!

Please review! Means a lot to me, and I would love to know what you think!  
Until next time!  
Bethanyy!


	17. Chapter 17

**Runaways.**

So, this is number 17, and well, it's very A/U and I have a kind of outline in my mind but if it turns out like that, I really don't know!

Thank you so much for the reviews and support, I am so sorry I forgot to put thank you on the last chapter!

A group of kids in high school, run away from their old lives to be with who the love.

Please read, enjoy, review, and have a good day, in that order, but you know switch it up if you want to!

**Disclaimer: I own a laptop, and I guess I own my writing, but SVU, yeah, I don't own that… **

* * *

The first day of any module was hard.

The fake teachers speech, the new kids, they annoying old kids, it's the one day where you will get judged about what you were and the one day where you get put into a group for the entire module.

"First day of hell…" Olivia said stood with her friends at the main school gates.

"Anyone else feel we've been here before?" John Munch asked getting small laughs from everyone else.

"Thought you were only meant to visit hell once?" Casey Novak asked with a smile.

"Unless you're a student, then you visit it, many times in 4 years." Don Cragen said as they group began walking towards the main entrances.

That was 3 weeks ago. 3 weeks ago when they walked out of the school gates at 11:45 and didn't plan on returning.

3 weeks since the initial missing persons report went out. 3 weeks since there face appeared on the news, 3 weeks since their head of year Mr Callahan laughed and told them all they didn't have the balls to run away.

For them, 3 weeks of happiness, 3 weeks of being free, 3 weeks to find a place and be a group of friends on a journey, away from everyone else to start a new life.

* * *

"You sure you want to do this, you had a future, you had a good life, us lot, we're doing this to get away from it all. You and Casey could have made it…" Olivia said with a sigh, she made it sound as if she didn't want Alex there, but she did, they did it so they could fall in love and start again with their friends, but Liv couldn't help but feel like she's ruined Alex's future.

Alex, Casey, Melinda, all 3 of them could have made a life for themselves after school, to be honest so could Elliot, Don, Fin and John, but they all said they couldn't they all laughed when she said it.

"Liv, I am here to get away from my family, the school, the life they had planned for me, but most importantly I am here because I want to be with you…" Alex said, she knew damn well it sounded harsh, but her parents hated Olivia from the moment they saw the 2 kiss, Alex's parents never accepted the fact she was gay, it was a word that was banned from the household, but Alex couldn't take it anymore. She wanted to be with Olivia.

"Come here…" Alex said with a smile, the group of teens were in a small cabin practically in the woods, in the middle of nowhere, it belonged to John's uncle who had passed away a year or 2 before, and it was a good hiding place, because John's mother didn't know it existed.

Alex and Liv's bedroom was nothing special, but it didn't matter, they knew they were safe, they were a lone, in that room at least and they could do what they wanted without people judging them or making a fuss.

The cabin had 4 bedrooms and 3 bathrooms, and then just a massive room that made up as a lounge, kitchen, dining room and a utility.

It was big enough for them, for the time being, still it was difficult, and the money they had would only last so long.

"This was the right thing to do Liv, we are with people who love and support us and it will get better…" Alex said with a smiled wondering if anyone could hear them, although it didn't matter, they didn't seem to mind the PDA, they were all trying to get to the same place, a better place, to be happy!

"I know, I just… I don't want to drag you through the dirt." Olivia said she felt bad for putting Alex through this.

"If it means being with you then you can drag me through the dirt all you like…" Alex said with a smile, moving closer, invading Olivia's personal space, but she didn't seem to mind.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Olivia asked, it wouldn't be the first time, although they had never taken it far, they'd seen each other without close enough to not worry about it.

Getting up, Alex smiled as she locked the door and closed the blinds…

"I just want to be close to you…" Alex said with a smile, walking over to the bed, for a few moments it felt like they were so much older than 17, but if they wanted to survive the next few weeks as runaways, they needed to think and plan ahead.

* * *

After 11 weeks of being away from home they seemed to be doing well, John, Fin and Melinda had managed to get a job at the local farm shop, they figured out they were almost 30 miles away from their little home village… and like a small miracle the owner of the farm shop was a runaway himself and seemed like he was going to keep the teenagers secret.

"We we're going to go shopping at the corner shop, did you want to come?" Monique asked Alex and Olivia, she, Casey, and Elliot were all going shopping whilst the other 3 where at work.

"I would rather stay here, if you don't mind." Alex said, it had been so long but she was still scared of going out and getting caught.

"That's fine, we'll be back as soon as we can, and we have our phones." Elliot said with a smiled before grabbing his coat and following the other two out the door.

Alex moved to sit down on the sofa, she was shattered, she had been up all night again worrying, she wanted to be there of course, she did but her mind was still full of thought about what her parents would do or say if the ever found her.

"How long until they stop looking?" Alex asked as if Olivia would have an answer.

"I have no idea baby, how about we go back to bed for a while?" Olivia suggested, she was tired too.

"Sounds like a good plan." Alex said with a smile pulling herself off the sofa.

* * *

As the group sat eating tea that nice, they watched the news, they were still on, but they knew it wouldn't be long before it all blew over.

"Anyone want to back out and go home?" Don asked, he meant it, he knew they all agreed they'd stick together, but they could leave if they wanted.

Everyone said no, with a smile.

"Well, in that case we need to make a better plan, move again, and probably change how we look?" John suggested, being serious for once.

"The life of the runaways." Olivia said with a smile and they all agreed.

* * *

Thank you for reading!

I hope you like it, it took forever to write, but it turned out okay, in my mind!  
Please review, I like to know what you all think!

Until next time!

Bethanyy!


	18. Chapter 18

**Home Truths.**

Number 18, you know getting board of this yet?!

Thank you so much for all the support, and reviews, and just everything! Really didn't think I would get this far! I have been thinking.  
If I did another multi chapter of one shots, would you like to see sequel to some of them? So the ones you think would be good to carry on? Let me know!

Some home truths are revealed over dinner.

Please, read, review, enjoy, smile, have a good day!

**Disclaimer: I own nothing… really, would be cool if I did, but… I don't.**

* * *

It was a rare thing for Alex to come home, and smell dinner cooking in the oven.

"Liv, I'm home!" Alex shouted as she put her shoes and coat away before moving to put her briefcase next to the desk that was in the living room.

"Hey, just in time for dinner!" Olivia appeared out of the kitchen with a smile.

"Smells real good, what we having?" Alex asked walking over wrapping her hands around Olivia's waist already having an idea of where this was gonna go.

"Lemon chicken and rice, I know you like it." Olivia said, she'd taken annual leave and had cooked every night for the past 3 nights, and it was okay seen as she wasn't going as crazy as Alex thought with her not being able to work again until next week.

"It should be done in about 5 minutes…" Olivia said looking at the timer on the cooker.

"Okay, well let me go get changed and we can eat." Alex said with a smile, her head already in a panic.

Walk into the kitchen a few moments later in skinny jeans and vest top Alex sat at the dinner table seeing it had already been set.

Olivia placed food in front of Alex before getting her own and sitting down opposite her, looking at her lover before she began eating.

"What?" Alex asked with a small laugh.

"Nothing, how was work?" Olivia asked, starting conversation.

"Work is work, how was your day?" Alex asked, her day had been okay, she had a trail she needed to attend filling in as second chair and the rest of her day was filled with doing paperwork.

"It was okay, I did some more research so I thought we could talk about it over dinner?" Olivia said with a hopeful smile. Alex held back a sigh, this is all she went on about ever since they'd been together officially.

Children.

"Liv, shouldn't we wait?" Alex said, she had no reasons to back it up, but she needed to let Liv down lightly.

"Why should we wait, we've been together officially for 2 years, slept together for 3 years, known each other longer than that…" Olivia said a little disappointed.

"I know, and I have loved it all, I just think we should wait, I mean we have both have difficult jobs, I guess if one of us was doing 9 till 5, it would be different…" Alex said with a small smile as she carried on eating her meal.

"Well, I thought you were on of the few people getting interviewed for being Bureau Chief now Liz is a judge?" Olivia said remembering Alex was one of the candidates.

"I dropped out, I guess I still want to be an A.D.A…" Alex said quietly, she was planning on telling Liv, but with her being so occupied trying to find a way to start a family she hadn't gotten round to it.

Olivia put her fork down and looked at Alex, she was shocked, upset, pissed off.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Olivia asked the obvious question.

"Well, I could barely get a word in edgeways, Liv… at least I still have a job, I didn't think it would be that big of a deal." Alex said, she was being honest.

When Olivia didn't reply, Alex figured now was as good a time as any.  
"Olivia, don't you hear yourself, for weeks, hell even months all you have gone on about it having children starting a family, but then you forget that you have a job, that I have a job, you never actually asked me if children was something I wanted… I know you want kids, I know you want a family, but I don't, I never have done…" Alex bowed her head as she realised what she said, she never meant to tell Liv the truth whilst she was annoyed but she couldn't take it back now.

"Liv, I'm sorry…" Alex tried but Olivia had already gotten up and left the table.

* * *

Alex knew it was best to leave her girlfriend to it, however after 2 hours of trying to complete paperwork, she couldn't take it no more, and it was killing her inside.

She knew she should have mentioned it so many years ago when they met, but she was so head over heels in love with the woman she forced herself to do anything to make her smile.

Standing up she began to pace, fully aware that it would annoyed the people below them, but right now she was too lost in her own mind trying to find some way of sorting this to care.

She didn't want to have to change her mind, but she knew it was probably the only way out of this mess she'd got herself into.

Alex wasn't the type of person to change, just like that, it takes time, but it was something she just couldn't do, not with something like this anyway, if it was moving in together or getting married, hell she would agree in a heartbeat and Olivia knew that, but marriage and children where 2 different things.

They'd spoken about marriage and both agreed to wait, they had no really reasons only the fact they both didn't feel ready and being realistic, money doesn't grow on trees, but kids, a family, Alex had grown up an only child, she never wanted a family, she had nothing against children, she admired people who had them, people like child minders and nursery nurses, but she just wasn't like that.

"Get yourself together Alex." She told herself as she stopped pacing.

It was like the impossible decision, choosing between head and heart, either way someone was going to get hurt.

After pacing some more and trying to think of anything that would help her, she finally decided that however hard it was she needed to man up, and make a decision.

It had been almost an hour and a half since Olivia got up and shut herself in the bedroom, normally after 10 minutes Alex would have gone in to make sure she was okay, but the sound of her girlfriends cries and moving around she was put to ease that her girlfriend was in simple terms still alive and considerably well.

Walking down the hall Alex slowed her pace as she reached the door, her mind spinning, she needed to get this done and over with.

Knocking on the door gently she pushed it open she heard the sudden stop of movement.

"Liv, can we talk?" Alex asked seeing that Olivia had decided to empty all the draws and re do them, re folding all the clothes.

"I have nothing to say to you…" Olivia said, it was true, she was still in shock.

"So then listen…" Alex said taking a few steps forward. Olivia looked up willing to hear her out.

"You know I am not a person who bends…"  
"Alex please…" Olivia said now changing her mind.

"Please listen, I know you want kids…" Alex started again, only to be interrupted again.

"Alex, you made it pretty clear how you feel…" Olivia said but this time Alex took both of Liv's hands and spoke.

"Olivia, I am not a woman who bend, but I will bend for you because I love you… If you want a family, then we will have a family." Alex said firmly.  
"Serious?" Olivia asked, once again lost for words.

"It will take some time to adjust, but yeah, seriously." Alex said, she was expecting Olivia to say something start rambling about anything and everything, but instead she found herself being pulled closer to the brunette, their lips touching instantly.

Alex really wasn't a woman who bends, but she would do anything for Liv.

* * *

Well, that turned out to be a lot longer than expected!  
Please review! Let me know what you thought!  
I really do love hearing what you have to say!  
Bethanyy!


	19. Chapter 19

**Think about it.**

Hello! Number... 19!

Thank you so much for all the reviews and everything, I know I talk about it, like it's a big deal, but to me it is… to know my writing is actually liked, so thank you all! To answer 'Moi' review – Yes, I am taking requests feel free to PM me, if you have any ideas!

So, this one and the last on are very different, but please keep in mind they are completely separate one shots!

Alex is babysitting Casey's son Henry, and it leads to an interesting conversation when Liv gets home from work.

Please read, review, enjoy, smile, and be happy!

**Disclaimer: It would be cool if I owned SVU, but I don't…**

* * *

"When mummy home?" Henry Novak asked sitting on Alex's knee.

"I'm not sure honey…" Alex answered honestly, Casey had text her about half an hour ago to let her know she was going into court. It was only 9:45.

Although Alex smiled at the thought of Olivia being home soon. She'd had the day off and only had to go in today to fill in some paperwork, then she could spend the day with Alex looking after the blondes' god son.

"Auntie Liv will be home soon though!" Alex said trying to engage in conversation with the 3 year old.

"Can I draw her a picture?" He asked turning to look at Alex still keeping a firm grip on the truck he'd been holding.

"If you want to, shall we do it on the kitchen table?" Alex asked putting him down, so he could walk himself.  
"Yeah…" He said with a smile as he followed Alex to the kitchen table and after some help sitting down he waited patiently, talking to himself as Alex went to find some paper and crayons.

"Here you go buddy." She said, watching a smile appear on his face as she put some paper and crayons down in front of him.

"Thank you…" He mumbled and he began to reach for colours and scribble random patterns on the page.

"You're welcome bud…" Alex said, grinning even more when she heard the front door open.

"I wonder who that is Henry!" Alex said as Liv came round the corner and smiled widely holding her arms out for the young boy who happily gave her a hug.

"I'm doing you a picture auntie Liv" Henry said with glee as he wriggled to get out of her arms and back to colouring.

"Did Casey say how long she was gonna be?" Olivia asked still keeping an eye on the toddler.

"No, but she said if she was going to be late, that Matt said he would pick him up." Alex said, smiling at how interesting her girlfriend was in the young boy.

"Well I don't mind having him, he's no bother…" Olivia said moving to take of her coat and shoes.

"Maybe later we can take him for a walk… We can get some shopping done at the same time." Alex suggested opening the fridge.

"Sounds like a good idea, can't stand the thought of him rattling around in here all day!" Olivia said with a small laugh thinking about how much she wanted children.

"Maybe tonight we could talk about starting a family." Alex suggested switching on the kettle.

Olivia stopped for a moment watching the young boy before answering.

"Yeah, maybe we could." Olivia said with a smile before she sat opposite Henry and they began to have a conversation.

Alex smiled at the thought of having children with Olivia, she'd known for a while that the brunette wanted a family, but so much had gone on over the years that it was a topic rarely spoken about.

* * *

The day hadn't dragged on as such, but Henry was one lively boy, they went for a walk around the city, and however hard they tried he would always find something to talk about. Food shopping wasn't difficult in fact Henry seemed to enjoy it, but Casey had always said he was energetic but wasn't one to scream and cry.

"Will mummy be back soon?" Henry asked, Alex wondered if he was okay, normally when he was at his child minders he would just play and have fun.

"I thinks so sweetie, we'll just have to wait and see… maybe we could call her?" Olivia suggested, seen as Alex just stood there.

"Yeah!" The young boy said with a huge grin.

After a moment of sorting out phones and numbers, Henry was happily chatting away to his mum.

"I don't want this if we have kids… You know for us to be at work all the time and for a child to be with someone else, for someone else to practically raise our child." Alex said, she wasn't blaming Casey for working, Casey waited until he was around 11 months before going back to work, and then she only worked 3 days a week, and Matt doesn't work as much as he used.

"We wouldn't, we'd work something out, just like Casey did… You could work from home and we'd make something work…" Olivia said with a smile, before moving to kiss Alex which by instinct and normality turned into a deep and passionate kiss.

"Hang on mummy, Alex and Olivia are kissing." Henrys voice was chipper and happy. Pulling away Alex whispered to Olivia that they'd finish this later.

"Does mummy want to speak to us?" Olivia asked with a smiled crouching down to the toddler's level.

"Yeah… I love you mummy." He said before handing the phone to Olivia and running off to finish playing with his toys.

"Casey said she'd be here around 4, so… I was think after they've gone me and you could order in, and spend some time together?" Olivia said her voice quiet as she walked towards the blonde.

"That would be nice…" Alex said already working on what could happen.

"Or maybe, we could order in, sit down and maybe talk about the future?" Olivia said, her voice more loving.

"I don't want to put you in an awkward position if it's not what you want." Alex said looking down at the floor.

"I want you, and I want us to be together, and I want a family…" Olivia said with a smile before leaning in to capture the blonde's lips once more.

* * *

Home time for Henry had soon rolled around, it amazed both Alex and Olivia how Henry just sat on his mother's knee whilst she was talking to Alex and Liv.

"I do love Henry, he's a gem." Alex said walking into the kitchen holding take out menus.

"He is… Right, what do you fancy?" Olivia said looking at Alex.

"How does Chinese's sound to you?" Alex asked with a smile, her smile didn't always mean she was happy, but she found herself constantly smiling, laughing, and being happy whenever she was around the detective, which is probably why she fell in love with the brunette as quick as she did.

"Sounds good… I'll order and you can go put your feet up." Olivia said, smiling as she watched the A.D.A walking into the living room.

After finally getting there tea, the conversation of kids came up.

"We don't have to actually carry the children, I mean we could always adopt…" Alex suggested, as she began eating.

"I guess we could, although it would be nice to carry a child, I mean… have that special bond." Liv said, thinking about it.

"Who says we can't do both?" Alex asked, watching Liv carefully to see her reaction.

"Why don't we finish this case first, then we can book a week off and spend some time together… talk about it all." Olivia suggested, trying to organise her brain and take one step at a time.  
"Just promise me one thing." Alex said, moving a little closer.

"Anything baby…" Olivia said grinning as the blonde moved even closer.

"Promise me you will actually think about it." Alex said with a big smile making Olivia chuckle a little.

"I promise you I will think about it." She said before capturing her girlfriend's lips.

* * *

Well there you have it! Thank you so much for reading!  
This took me forever, because well, I just really didn't know what to write!  
So, please review, let me know what you think, you know I am always looking to improve!  
Until next time!  
Bethanyy!


	20. Chapter 20

**Local Anaesthetic**

So, number 20 – on the 20th it's my birthday! 3 days! I am not excited at all…

Thank you so much for all of the support, reviews, follows, favourites, means so much!

Right… I have tried to spell 'anaesthetic' like 5 different ways. Like, word, Facebook, google, and the NHS website all have different ways of spelling it.

So… I am sorry if it's spelt wrong, where you come from!

Moving on!

After Liv is shot, she is given a large dose of Local Anaesthetic, and has a strange dream whilst under.

A/N – The dream is in _italics! _

Please enjoy, review, have a good day, smile, and laugh!

**Disclaimer: No… still don't own SVU…**

* * *

Getting shot at twice in one day was not something really rare within the police force, although getting shot at twice then getting shot the third time, was rare, normally you would have moved or do something to prevent it. Either way, it proved to the villain that third time lucky applied to them as well.

The waiting room had soon filled with concerned detectives from the 1-6, beat cops who'd heard it over the radio, A.D.A Alexandra Cabot had made it quite clear she wasn't leaving until she knew Olivia was stable and out of the woods.

Cragen stood next to Munch who messing around with the bracelet his daughter had given him. Fin sat next to Melinda, who was trying to calm Elliot since he was most annoyed they couldn't stop his partner from taking a bullet.

Alex sat in the corner a lone, being watched by some of the others, she'd been with the squad for almost a year, but still she felt like an outsider, to everyone but Liv that was.

Olivia and she became friends soon after the dust had settled, the both of them ate lunch together and more recently it would always be Olivia who came to see the lawyer about cases and to collect warrants, but she would always come a lone, proving a point in her head once again that she needed to stay, to make sure Olivia was okay, to make sure she was going to pull through.

* * *

Olivia had a very clear idea of what was going on. Even though she couldn't speak, could barely hear and her eye sight was out of focus she managed to grasp her surrounding and a little of what was happening, but she'd been to visit victims that many times that she'd gotten familiar with the medical jargon and the blue scrubs that symbolised a doctor in many ways.

"Ms Benson, I'm Doctor Laurence…" Olivia heard a female voice, but still couldn't see where it was coming from, the tube down her throat made it harder for her to move her neck, the wounds in the chest and lower abdomen made it almost impossible to move her body, all she could do now was listen and put trust into someone she'd never met.

"We need to operate, and we need to do it now, so I'm about to give you a large dose of local anaesthetic, Olivia, if you can understand me I need you to squeeze my hand." The voice was getting louder, but Olivia still wasn't sure if it was a good thing or not, squeezing the hand that had been placed in her own she couldn't help but with it was Alex's hand. Alexandra Cabot had become her secret obsession, and now, she was putting trust in someone she'd never met, convinced herself she may not make it out alive and instead of wanting her partner of some many years she wanted the squads A.D.A. Alex. That was the only thing she wanted to think about. She would be the only person the brunette was going to fight for. A voice came from the other side of the room, a male voice saying something Olivia couldn't quite figure out, but it would become clear soon enough as her eyes began to close and her mind went blank for all of a few seconds before the dreams she'd been having for weeks graced her with their presence for maybe the last time ever.

* * *

_Olivia loved the days when she came home from work early, it was the only time she felt truly happy about the way her life had turned out._

_Getting to put her children to bed, getting to spend time with her wife, it was a lot better than having to sneak back into their brownstones and some stupid time in the morning._

_The past 6 years had been like a whirlwind, and finally one wedding and 2 babies later, Olivia Benson was Captain of the 1-6 Special Victims Unit, wife of EADA Alexandra Benson and proud mother to 4 year old Chase and 2 year old Molly._

_She often said to people she wouldn't change it for the world… but that was lie, she'd love to take her family on vacation more, it would be nice to have more personal days… but still she was happy._

"_Mama's home!" Chase screamed from upstairs when Olivia walked through the door._

"_Hey baby!" Olivia said catching him as he launched at her from the stairs._

_Holding him close, she kissed his forehead before putting him down and seeing to her other baby. Molly was a quiet kid, but that was predicted to change, she was currently being amused my mickey mouse which seemed to play on repeat in the Benson house hold. Kissing the toddlers head she watched her for a moment as she smiled up at the brunette still not saying a word before turning back to the TV._

_Walking into the home office she smiled as she saw Alex hard at work, Olivia knew Alex hated to bring work home with her, but there was something about Alex when she was working that made Olivia fall for her all over again._

_Waiting only a few minutes to see if Alex had or would notice her, Olivia stepped a little further into the office, waiting for her wife to either notice her or finish her task._

"_Hey beautiful…" Alex said with smile when she looked up._

_The conversation went on like it normally did, how was there day, how where the kids, what the plan was for tomorrow, if there was a plan at all._

_The rest of the evening seem to go so fast, the kids put up a small fight like each night Olivia made it home in time. They wanted to spend time with her, time that in all fairness they didn't have. Olivia was home, but most days her mind was still at work, working out how she was going to pay the bills, occasionally wondering how she could be a better mother, a better wife, a better person._

"_I love you." They were the last words of the day. They were small words but meant so much, to most people it soon became something you felt that had to be said after you exchanged vows but to Alex and Olivia they still meant it, it still had meaning, they hoped it would always have meaning._

* * *

The sounds of a hospital room were ones that Olivia had hated since she was a child. The ones she despised. The noises she put up with for the job and the job alone.

She'd become an expert at avoiding the situation she was in.

She could hear chatter around her, she heard it last night, she heard it in the early hours of the morning, she heard it late that afternoon and she could still hear it now. Choosing not to move hadn't been her intention, but she needed time, she wanted time. Olivia remembered being put under for an operation, she remembered the dream as clear as day, what she couldn't remember is why she was there, why it was here and not her partner, why.

Laying there, she tried to listen hard.

Then she finally placed the voice.

The voice of Alexandra Cabot, the voice she'd heard late last night, the voice she heard in the small hours of that morning, the voice she heard that afternoon, the voice she was hearing now.

Still she choose not to move, but she smiled. Alex was there, Alex had been there. It would take some time, but maybe one day her dream would come true.

* * *

Finally finished number 20!  
I hope you liked it… I think personally, it's the best story I have done.

However I would love to know what you think!  
Please review, or if you don't want to review you may always PM me!  
Thank you for reading!  
Until next time my friends!  
Bethanyy!


	21. Chapter 21

**Reason Why.**

Number 21! I was going to say into double figures, but….

Thank you for all the reviews and just wow… everything!

Anyway! I like this idea, I think it's a good idea… I like it, I think, I'll be good at this one!

Alex finally tells Liv why it took her 3 years to come back after leaving WP.

Please read, review, have a good, be honest, smile, think positively just try and be happy!

**Disclaimer: Still don't own anything!**

* * *

3 years. 3 years of waiting. 3 years of turning people down. 3 years of Alex's life wasted because she had all of a sudden become a shy and awkward person.

Now she was sat in Olivia's apartment, drinking cheap red wine waiting for Olivia to finish a phone call wishing she was anywhere but here. Ever since seeing her again that morning, she wanted to go home, home meaning where her mother lived, home meaning as far as New York as possible.

However, in a way she wanted to be here, wanted to be near Olivia, wanted to make up for the 3 years she'd missed, but that was easier said than done.

"Sorry about that, you know what Cragen's like… Always wants to keep things organised." Olivia said with a smile sitting down on the opposite side of the sofa to the blonde.

"Are you needed back at the precinct, because I can go…?" Alex began, but Olivia cut her off.

"Not its fine, honestly, El and Fin are there, so it's all covered." Olivia said with a smile, taking a sip of her wine, before placing it on the coffee table and studying Alex for a moment or two.

"I am assuming you're waiting for me to get straight to the point?"  
"Witness Protection didn't change you at all did it?" Olivia said, her statement had already been proven today in the squad room whilst offering legal advice to the Captain.

"You're the reason I didn't come back Olivia…" Alex said, it was like a weight had been lifted after the words left her mouth.

Olivia remained quiet hoping the blonde would explain further as now she was utterly confused.

"I was so scared, scared that you would have changed, scared you would have found someone else, scared that I would come back and see you were happy without me… it sounds selfish I know, but for the past 3 years, hell since the first time we met, all I ever thought about was you… and I know this must be a shock to hear this all at once, but Olivia I was scared to come back, so see you were in love and happy with someone else, for me to work with the squad after all that's happened from me to be around you knowing that the person you go home to each day is not me." Alex said, it was hard to explain, it came out all at once with every emotion she'd saved for the past 3 years.

Olivia was still speechless, she wanted to tell the blonde she was seeing someone just to watch her reaction, just because she was pissed off, she wanted to ask her to leave, Olivia was angry, she'd waited 3 years to see Alex and now she wasn't so sure, Alex left after the trial, without a word… it was hard on Olivia, hell it was hard on them all.

"I love you too." Olivia said, they were the only words that made sense.

Alex now had tears in her eyes.

"You have no idea how long I waited for you to say that to me." Alex said placing her wine on the table… slowly moving forward as the brunette did the same.

It was just like they both dreamed, it was amazing… the kiss they had always wanted.

* * *

"Well Vicky Manson proved that all you need is a little hope and faith." Cragen said walking into the office, closely followed by Casey.

"Guilty on all counts, and Vicky managed to sit there through it all." Casey explained further making Liv almost laugh out loud with glee for the victim but also happiness for herself.

"Why are you so happy?" Elliot asked looking at her.

"Just proves sometimes all you need is a little time, a little faith and a lot of hope." Olivia said sitting at her desk.

"Something we should know about?" Elliot asked now even more confused.

"You know next time one of your kids comes home late, or fails a test, just listen to their reasons why, before making assumptions." She said, feeling that was the best time to leave, she got up and left with a smile on her face.

3 years was a long time to wait, but it was worth it.

* * *

This is a lot shorter than my other one shots, but erm, my Nan say's 'short and sweet' so, that's kind of what I am aiming for.

Please review! I would love to know what you think!  
Thank you for reading!

Until next time!  
Bethanyy!


	22. Chapter 22

**High Life.**

Number… 22!

**I am sorry it's been a while, a lot of stuff has happened over the last few weeks. Hopefully I will get back to updating again!**

Thank you for all the reviews, they're loved, and so are you!

This is majorly AU, but the only AU one shot in this series, type thing…

So!

Alex is a famous movie star, living in a posh house in Manhattan.

She and wife Olivia go on holiday to Spain, for a short break.

A villa in Spain, major heat and lurking press.

A/N - Flashbacks are in italics.

Please, read, review, enjoy, smile, have a great day!

**Disclaimer: I don't SVU, I would like to, but I don't.**

* * *

_**'Alexandra Cabot, jet's off to Spain with wife Olivia.'**_

'_**Famous movie star Alexandra Cabot and wife make the most of Spain's major heat wave'**_

'_**Famous get away, Alexandra Cabot and wife fly abroad after mentions of marriage problems.'**_

"Just 3 of the major headlines today." Olivia said throwing the newspapers down on the bed as she watched Alex, put on some sun lotion, wearing only a bikini.

"Ignore them baby, just trying to make money." Alex said, she'd gotten used to it by now.  
"Plus, remember we are never out of the public eye…" Alex said knowing the minute she walked out of the villa she would be snapped by one of the many camera's she knew was there. She tried her hardest to keep Olivia out of the spot light, wanting to live as normal life as possibly. If possibly.

"Will I get to show you how much I love you today, or will we be sitting a mile apart not talking?" Olivia questioned with a laugh, making Alex smile.

"You can show me any day, just make sure, it's not too much. I don't want people making up stupid stories about you." Alex said and Olivia always knew that was her fear.

"I don't care, I just want to go out, kiss you, get a tan, come back here and have you show me a good time…" Olivia said, snaking her arms round the blondes' waist.

"I can do that baby…" Alex said kissing her back, before then leaving the villa hand in hand.

* * *

Walking into the bedroom of the villa, Olivia went in search of a drink.

"When they said major heat wave there were not kidding…" Alex said with a laugh, it had been better than expected, the pressed seemed to back off a little bit, but still had time to get some picture of the pair kissing and holding hands, in a way proving a point that there marriage was perfectly fine, but still she wanted to prove that to Olivia.

"You know we're okay don't you?" Alex asked with a smile.

"Of course, just sometimes those articles get to me, that's all." Olivia admitted but it was something Alex already knew.

"I love you baby…" Alex said pulling her close, kissing her passionately.

"I love you too." Olivia said when they came back for air.

"Now, you gonna show me a good time, or do I have to make an appointment?" Olivia joked, but before she could begin laughing Alex had pinned her up against the wall, grinning as their mouths collided once again, this times their tongues fighting for dominance. Olivia's hands slid under the beach dress her wife was wearing, pulling her closer and the kiss grew deeper, Alex moaning slightly as she felt her lovers hands press against her bare skin.

"Don't tease me Liv." Alex said when the brunettes hands, moved to her front and up her chest.

Olivia just smiled, kissing the blonde harshly before, moving her back towards the bed.

"I thought it was me gonna show you a good time?" Alex asked with a smile.

"You never heard of taking turns baby?" Olivia whispered in her ear, making Alex blush even more. She knew this was the break they both needed, after Alex being away for months at a time, she began to question if their relationship would ever be the same.

Alex laid, her breathing becoming heavier, as Liv kissed her neck, moving down towards her collar bone.

"I take it you're gonna show me how it's done?" Alex said in an attempt to gain back some control, but Olivia just laughed before, pulling off her own dress to revel all she had on was her knickers.

"We're not going to have much fun with this on are we?" Olivia said, her voice laced with excitement.

* * *

Laying there Alex smiled at the sleeping form of her wife. It was now around 11, and the past few hours reminded both women of the love and passion they had for each other, but for Alex it made remember when Alex and Olivia began seeing each other. The way they had looked at each other, the way they spoke, just the small things… they were the things that meant so much to the movie star. Olivia moved a little in her sleep, snuggling closer to the blonde, making Alex move down and kiss her head.

Her thoughts then went back to the first holiday there shared.

"_Alexandra Cabot, takes new girlfriend on a 2 week long holiday in Dominican Republic, after Evelyn Cabot, the movie stars wife, admits they're filing for a divorce… You know they make you sound like a…" Olivia couldn't find the right words._

"_Whore?" Alex suggested making Olivia laugh a little._

"_It's not like you signed the divorce papers, then met me on the jet, we've been seeing each other for months." Olivia said, throwing the paper down on the bed._

"_Evelyn knew about us… if that makes you feel any better…" Alex said, she was being honest, the blonde's marriage was over before it had begun._

"_I am so happy, we're together…" Olivia said, walking towards Alex who was currently sat sun bathing near the pool. Olivia slipped onto her lap, before kissing her neck._

"_You know, asking would be a lot nicer…" Alex said, with a smile, moving her sunglasses off her face and onto her head._

"_It probably would, but, asking questions, not really my thing." Olivia said with a grin, making Alex laugh even more._

"_Well it's a good job, I know what you want…" Alex said, sitting up a little more, her hand now on the brunette's waist._

"_I don't think you do…" Olivia said, her voice quiet and shy._

_Alex looked at her for a moment, studying her face, suddenly a little worried as to what Olivia wanted._

_Olivia stood up, motioning for Alex to follow her, walking into the bedroom of the small villa._

"_I want you to make love to me, and then I want to lay with you, and I want to hear you tell me how much you love me, because I am still having trouble believing this is real…"  
_

Olivia's movements beside her pulled her out of her thoughts.

"What you thinking about?" Olivia asked, seeing her wife's facial expression.

"Just thinking about how much I love you…" Alex said, moving to capture the brunette's lips. Alex didn't want the high life so much anymore, she just wanted her wife.

* * *

Thank you for reading! I have to admit, that was a pretty difficult to write…  
Still, I hope you liked it, I think it turned out okay!  
So, please review, let me know what you think!  
Until next time!  
Bethanyy!


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